The New Day
by mottmom
Summary: Nessie and Jake are married. The Volturi are getting restless from laying low for the last seven years after their embarrassment in the meadow. Dawn broke when Nessie was born and Bella was changed what is in store for the new day?
1. Chapter 1 snow flakes

I watched as unique crystals filled the air.. First, there were five, then ten, then a hundred and now a thousand. I watched each solitary configuration of crystals drift to the ground and melt just before reaching it. The light was becoming more muted as day turned into evening, but it really didn't matter. Snow was so much more fascinating as a vampire; no longer cold and so miraculously beautiful. I used it to distract me. Despite what Edward had said before, it was very difficult to distract a vampire mind. Vampires can just think of too many things at once.

Seven years and three months ago today I woke from the intense burning. Seven years and three months ago I hunted with Edward for the first time. Seven years and three months ago I held Renesmee for the first time and felt a love I never knew was possible. The last seven years and three months had been amazing. I had Edward and Renesmee, the two people I loved more than anything. I was so happy all the time. Now, she was gone. I knew she would be back, but it didn't seem to stop the empty feeling inside me.

Yesterday, I watched as Edward gave Renesmee to Jacob. The wedding was perfect because Alice wouldn't have had it any other way. The flowers were so fragrant, so similar to Edward's and my wedding. I couldn't help but smile a little. Ness was stunning in a Quileute wedding dress. Bride and Groom both wore traditional clothing with an Alice touch. I'm sure no other Quileute couple's attire had ever been so elaborately beaded. Alice went to great lengths to make sure all proper Quileute ceremonies were observed. She wove the tribe's tradition perfectly with customary wedding practices. I'm sure there has never been a wedding like it before and, surely, it could never be duplicated.

Renesmee would have taken my breath away, had it been possible. She glowed with love and happiness, and everyone could feel it. Jake looked at her in the same way Edward looked at me during our wedding; so much love, desire, happiness and triumph.

Part of me longed for the release tears would have brought. As I watched Edward march our princess down the aisle, memories came flooding to my mind. A beautiful little head of bronze curls cradled in my arms "telling" me about her day. Setting her on the back of her enormous wolf and saying goodbye as we prepared to fight the Volturi. Giggling, bouncing curls next to that same wolf as they hunted together.

I had watched Jake take such good care of her at every turn, I had no reason to worry for her. Eighteen months ago Ness stopped talking to Jake. It was so sudden I had no idea what to think. She didn't even want to be in the same room with him, of all the silly things. She hid in her room with the door locked and blocked Edward. Jake had been her best friend all her life. She _always_ wanted to be with him. Now, she wanted nothing to do with him? It was like she was embarrassed to be near him. I never would have guessed that she _liked_ him. The thought reminded me of middle school in ways I was glad to be forgetting.

Jake just smiled and he took her for a walk.. It took him an hour to talk her into going, but he was never impatient. He just talked kindly at her bedroom door, until he had convinced her. When they came back, they were holding hands. It was the sweetest thing, Jake knew exactly what she needed just like always. He crushed on her just as much.. Imprinting stuff never ceased to amaze me. It continued to be that way.

Her crush developed and kindled at a slow but even pace. Jake became exactly what she needed when she needed it. First a best friend then, confidant then, crush, boy friend, fiancée and, now, husband and lover.

He never took advantage, when she thought she needed too much, too fast; he slowed her down. He was sweet and loving at every turn and always completely honest. Edward and I watched them carefully. Jake never pushed her, he simply followed the desire of her heart. Many times, he understood those desires better than she did. Then, about six weeks ago, they announced their engagement..

The last six weeks had been a whirlwind of excitement and wedding plans and now, they were gone. I knew they would come back. They were going on a long honeymoon, two months at least. I didn't blame them, I was happy for them. I knew they were perfect together, just like us. They had waited to consummate their relationship, just like we had. I was so proud. Now, they needed time alone, together.

Esme sent them to her island as a wedding gift. When they came back, she would no longer be my baby, she would be Mrs. Jacob Black. They would be arriving there shortly. The fuzzy human memory of our time on the island came back to me. Would she be feeling the stage fright now?

If I had been human, my tears would have started their silent streams anew. So, here I stood in the middle of the softly floating white crystals trying to concentrate on them. It wasn't working very well. Watching each slow descent to the ground. I noticed a flake here and there actually touch the ground before melting. I felt the whisper of each flake that fell on my arms and face.. I was supposed to be hunting, I found what I needed blood wise but, my emotions were not ready to return to our cottage, to the empty bedroom waiting there.

I felt two hands gently grasp my shoulders and, at once, I knew it was Edward. I had been so lost in my memories I didn't even hear him coming behind me. He wound his arms around me and brought his lips down to whisper into my ear.

"Bella, are you OK?"

I turned into him and let the dry sobs take me. He held me and let me "cry" it out.

"Bella, she will be home before you know it."

I shook my head. I knew I couldn't speak the feelings aloud, there was just too much. So, I moved my shield and let him in. I was glad this had gotten so much easier. He held me more tightly and I felt a sob work its way through him, too. I knew it would take me a little while to be back to normal, but it would come. Of that, I was sure.

"Oh, Bella," he whispered. "Come home with me."

I felt my shield snap back into place. Then, we walked hand in hand back to our beloved cottage at a near human pace. We enjoyed the solitude of our beautiful room and held each other until the late dawn made itself known through the falling snow. Six inches had piled up over night and it didn't look to be stopping anytime soon.

Edward held me and touched me with the adoration he always had. He loved me so gently, I couldn't help but feel better.

During the night I had an epiphany, Renesmee was just as happy as I was at this minute. We were having parallel experiences; this night we both felt the love of our husbands in every way. I knew way she felt about Jacob was nearly equal to the love I had for Edward. At that moment, everything clicked and I was overjoyed. My daughter had the best thing possible in life, the thing I wanted for her more than anything. I wondered briefly why I didn't see it before. I didn't want to break our perfect silence. Instead, I moved my shield to share my joy with Edward. The ecstasy of the night was accented with my joy for Ness.

As the sky brightened, Edward pulled me closer and broke our night of silence. "Alice and Jasper are coming," he whispered so quietly I could barely hear it over the sound of falling snowflakes. "Everyone is worried about us, they were all going to come but Alice insisted she come with Jasper only."

"Thank goodness for that," I whispered back. Alice was still my best girl friend and she always knew the best way to handle any situation. Although, I was sure I would be better at it if I could see the future. Alice had a special way to go about it. Everyone knew not to mess with what Alice thought best.

"She will be here in two minutes." Edward whispered. "We should probably get dressed."

We sat up and I stretched. Even though I didn't need to, I still liked to sometimes stretch in the morning. I was glad my closet wasn't such a mystery anymore and Alice was glad I had started to dress more fashionably. I kept it simple, like Edward. Each different texture of fabric was more discernible to my vampiric skin. It didn't take long to realize that quality really did feel better against my keen skin.

I slipped my hands though the sleeves of my off-white cashmere sweater and pulled my beige slacks on. As I was putting on my shoes, I heard Alice skipping and whistling up to the house. Edward was already getting the door. I saw Edward nod to Jasper and I gave him a look.

"Jasper says you're in a much better state of mind," Edward smiled, "and I was agreeing with him."

"Oh good, then you'll be part of the war," Alice grinned.

"What war?"

Alice turned to Edward, "Didn't you tell her?"

"No, we've been a little busy. You were right, I did need to go find Bella at that moment. You came quite a bit earlier this morning than I'd expected."

"Well," Alice sped, " Everybody has been worried about Bella. Especially after my vision last night and all the crazy feelings Jasper sensed in her yesterday. Jasper and Garrett and Emmett have been trying to sort out teams and they want to know if they could separate you two for the war, I told them you wouldn't want them to do that but, they are convinced the teams would be more equal that way because Bella could shield her team so you couldn't read their thoughts."

"Huh? What's going on?" I looked at Alice.

"Jazz, Em and Garrett want to have a snow war! This storm is huge. We will have a foot of snow by noon. So, they want to build snow forts out in the clearing and have a war. " She grinned, "It'll be sooo fun."

I giggled, her enthusiasm was catching and Jasper amplified it. "OK, Alice," I rolled my eyes.

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	2. Chapter 2 isle esme

**Renesmee**

The warm wind felt so lovely through my hair. My auburn curls fanned out behind me and I wondered, briefly, how long it would take to brush out all of the tangles I was accumulating. I knew Dad had been teaching Jake how to sail so we could make it out to Isle Esme but I had no idea how good he was. It was exciting to watch him use his new expertise to get us set on our course.

I turned from watching Jacob so I could see the stars and watch the waves pass us. Well, that's what I told myself. The truth was the flock of ridiculous butterflies that had inhabited my stomach when we landed in Rio had quadrupled in the last ten minutes. Looking away from Jake calmed them a little. It just seemed absolutely absurd. I had no reason to be nervous but I was just a little bit.

I heard Jake walk up behind me, the butterflies took off again. He snaked his arms around my waist and pulled me to him. The stupid butterflies got a lot stronger. "Nessie, why are you so nervous?" Jake whispered in my ear.

"I'm not," I lied. It wasn't really a lie, was it? I didn't want to be nervous. Jake had never made me feel nervous, _ever_.

I felt Jake's laughter. "Ness, you know you can't lie to me. It just doesn't work. Please, tell me why you're nervous."

"I really don't know why. I'm excited. I guess it is just new bride nerves. I didn't expect it at all."

He trailed his fingers up and down my arms, kissed my neck and whispered "I love you, Ness."

"I love you too." I took a deep breath, "How much longer?"

"About 20 minutes or so. I think we should see it soon."

I kept taking deep breaths, trying to will my butterflies away. If it was helping, it wasn't by much. Then I saw the dock coming up and the butterflies completely disappeared and left a sinking feeling in their wake. That was _not _helpful.

Jake got the boat taken care of and we walked hand in hand to the house. The breeze was warm, it felt so good. I wasn't surprised I enjoyed the warmth….Jake was warm. The thought was comforting. I smiled to myself and Jake put his arm around my shoulder. "I'm glad you're feeling better," he whispered.

I wondered if that would ever get annoying. The imprinting made it so Jake knew what I needed all the time. I remembered a time about 18 months ago – When I was closer to 13. Emmett made a stupid comment about me having a crush on Jake. Jake had just walked in the room and I was sure he had heard. My teenage hormones would only allow me to be utterly mortified. I raced back home and locked myself in my room – I was mad at Emmett and embarrassed. I blocked my dad and just curled up on my bed ready to die from the horror of it. Jake was at my door just minutes later knocking quietly and started to talk me into coming out. Eventually, he convinced me and we went for a long walk.

Remembering our conversation during that walk still made my heart soar. "Ness," he said,"don't worry about what Emmett says. He is just a dork sometimes. You know that already." Then, he looked in my eyes and said,"I am absolutely flattered that you have a crush on me because I've had a crush on you for a long time." Then he kissed my hand and we walked back home holding hands.

He always knew what I needed even before that. However, it became especially obvious to me then. I smiled to myself again.

We had just gotten to the threshold. Jake scooped me up and walked on through. Then he started kissing me, we didn't break our kiss until he laid me on the bed. Jake looked at me and a smile lit up his whole face; desire was deep in his eyes. I smiled shyly hoping against hope that the butterflies were gone for good. However, they chose that moment to hit with full force.

"Don't move," Jake whispered.

I laid there staring at the ceiling taking deep breaths. I felt like such a fool. About two minutes later, Jake came back. He had a chair in one hand and a brush in the other. He helped me get off the bed and settled into the chair. Then ever so gently, he began to comb all of the tangles out of my hair. I immediately relaxed. Every once in a while, Jake would kiss my neck or whisper in my ear. By the time he was done, the butterflies were extinct and my hair was completely snarl free. I reached up to braid it out of my way when Jake caught my hands.

"No. Please." He smiled.

"OK."

He helped me stand up and rubbed my arms up and down. He took my face in his hands and kissed me so gently. I felt that kiss from the top of my head clear to my toes. The emotion of it was so strong I had to blink the tears away. He smiled.

"Oh, Nessie, I'm so glad we are alone now. I love you so much." The passion of his words filled the air. All night we loved each other with gentleness, until I could no longer hold back the tears of my emotions. He kissed my tears away. He was so careful. He made sure I was ready. He held me tight as I worked through the pain of the first time.

"Nessie, I'm sorry, so sorry," he whispered when he saw the hurt in my eyes.

I took a deep breath and it started to dissipate. I tried to smile at him. "It's OK, Jake. Everything is OK."

He kissed me with so much zeal it drowned out the rest of the discomfort and only the ecstasy remained.

We, finally, collapsed exhausted in each other's arms and slept until late morning. When I opened my eyes I was surprised by the bright light and by the fact that I was alone. Where was Jake? I put a robe on and went to investigate.

It didn't take long for me to find him. The banging around in the kitchen gave him away. I snuck around the corner and watched him cook for a while. He moved around the kitchen easily and whistled a happy tune. It looked like he was cooking to feed a small army. He must be extra hungry today. I chuckled.

Jake turned with a start. His smiled doubled the brightness of the morning. "Hi-ya Mrs. Black, why don't you go hop in the shower and I'll have breakfast already for you when you're done."

I smiled back and blushed. "Would you like to join me, Mr. Black?"

"Oh yes, I would, Ness, but if I don't eat soon I'm going to pass out."

"Well, we could shower after breakfast." I suggested and felt my blush deepen.

He walked over to me. "You always have the best ideas." His tone was low. He leaned down and kissed me until I tingled from head to toe.

I slipped back to the bedroom and grabbed my hair brush. I brushed out my hair while I watched him work. My hair was so tangled from sleeping it took a while to comb out. As a general rule, I slept with it braided. It was easier that way. My curly hair hung down to the bottom of my back pockets when I wore jeans. It took a fair amount of work to keep it looking as good as it did and I always had to be conscious of it. Jake loved it and it made me feel beautiful so all the work was worth it.

Just as I finished brushing, Jake started putting food on the table. I helped him set the table for breakfast and we sat down to eat. Jake was a good cook, and it was a good thing. I still didn't like human food enough to work at it. However, I could appreciate good cooking and Jake's food was very good. There were scrambled eggs, bacon, sausage, toast, and hash browns. We ate in comfortable silence.

I had been finished for about ten minutes and was just enjoying watching him when Jake smiled at me. I winked back, blushing again. "I think I'm full, how about you?" He asked.

I smirked, "Yep, It was delicious."

Jake leaned across the table, a mischievous glint in his eye. "Last one in the shower's a rotten egg."

I smiled and ran to the bathroom. "Hey, wait, I didn't say go yet," Jake complained.

"You're just sore because you lost," I giggled. I had thrown my robe off the moment I had gotten to the bathroom and was turning on the water by the time Jake got there.

He stopped short as he entered the bathroom. "Mmmm, no, I think I'm the winner." He eyed me appreciatively.

I blushed, again. I really wish mom hadn't passed on so many of those blushing genes. I leaned in to feel the water, still ice cold, so I cupped my hands to fill them and splashed Jake. I giggled at the surprised look on his face. The water was warm now. I stepped in and Jake followed.

Under the hot water he pulled me close to him. The feeling of our skin to skin contact took my breath away. Then, he brushed his lips against mine. He washed me from head to toe, starting with my hair. He spent extra time on his favorite parts. By the time he was done, I could barely stand. I regained my composure and took my turn. I washed him carefully, enjoying the definition of his muscles and the feel of his skin. I smiled when he had to hold on to the wall to keep his balance.

We dried off and dressed. I had the cutest sun dresses and bathing suits for this trip. Alice and I had a great time on our many shopping trips. The sun dress I chose for today was yellow with white poke-a-dots, it tied halter style behind my neck. Jake was wearing board shorts with a blue and white print and a white tee shirt.

We spent several days exploring the island and walking the beaches. Everything was perfect, so beautiful and peaceful. I enjoyed lying out on the beach soaking up as much sun as possible. It was a nice change from the craziness of wedding planning and the drama of pack issues

The Pack had been a difficult thing lately. There were so many wolves. The Volturi problem we had when I was little caused many of the young men to change and a few of the young women, as well. The drama of it all escalated until Jake couldn't ignore it any more. He and Sam decided it was time for re-organization. They met and cultivated the idea. Now, Jake was the Alpha wolf and chief of the tribe with Embry and Quill as his flank men. The rest of the wolves were divided into 3 smaller packs, each with its own Alpha. Sam, Jared, and Leah were each Alphas of a small pack. Leah's pack was all female and the smallest; it had four wolves while the others had five.

Jacob really hadn't wanted to be chief. He fought the idea for a long time, yet somehow Sam talked him into it. After all, the leadership of the tribe was his birthright. It was remarkable to see him become the leader that was needed. It was incredible to watch him in action, leading the tribe and packs. Getting everything set up took most of Jake's time and attention over the last few months. Now, everything was set and running smoothly. Jake knew just how to take care of all the issues.

The only reason we could go so far away from the pack was his incredible leadership. He took care of everything that would be needed while we were away. I was glad he could have a break from all of his responsibilities. I worried about all the time and stress of the last few weeks. A care free couple of months out here would be so good for him. Embry and Quill could take care of the stuff at home for a while.

A sound interrupted my thoughts. My heart sank and my head screamed "NO!" It was our cell. There had been strict orders not to call except for absolute emergencies. Unless the whole reservation was on fire, I was going to kill Quill. He was the only one there with the new number. Of course, it could always be my family. I took a deep breath. If it was Emmet or somebody trying to be funny…. Then, I heard Jake. He was using his tribal leader voice.

"OK, calm down," I heard Jake say. "Just take a deep breath and start over slowly so I can understand you."

There was a long pause while he listened. "OK, let me talk to Ness, I'll call you back. Calm down, there's no need to panic."

My whole being cringed, I didn't want to cut our honey moon short. I stood up. I wanted to tell him that we were staying here but in my heart I knew I wouldn't. I took a deep breath and turned to face Jake.

His expression was somber, tears in his eyes. I forgot my irritation and went to my husband. At that moment, my only thought was to comfort him.

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	3. Chapter 3 fun and games

Most of the vampires who had witnessed for us with during the Volturi incident had come for Renesmee's wedding. Apparently, Jasper and Garrett had organized many of them into an exceptionally elaborate game of capture the flag. I doubt there had ever been such a gathering. I mused over the impossibility of the whole thing while we raced back to the house. I could hear Edward responding to Jasper's thoughts behind me as we ran.

"There is absolutely no way that you can put us on different teams."

"I'm sure you can make it even."

"I am not fighting against my wife; you know how I feel about that."

"Well, I didn't think you would want to fight against Alice either."

"You're right."

"I know we can figure out a way. Who all is playing?"

Edward chuckled, "Jasper, we are going to need a lot more space than the clearing. It looks like almost everyone is playing."

We slowed as we got closer to the house. Emmett was waiting impatiently. He was bouncing like Alice. "Come on guys. Let's do this."

"They can work this all out," Alice smiled. "Let's go find Rose."

Alice and I rushed up the stars and found Rosalie wearing jeans and a t-shirt. She was lacing up her tennis shoes. I never thought I would ever see Rose is jeans and a t-shirt.

"That is not going to be enough," Alice smirked. "This game is going to take at least twenty- four hours."

Rosalie and I gaped.

Alice went to the back of Rose's closet and pulled out hiking boots and hardy camping type clothing. "Wear this. You'll be glad you did."

"I'm not sure I want to play if it is going to take that long," I said.

"Oh, yes you do," Alice assured. "This is going to be so fun. You want to be there. I promise."

Alice found her own roughing it clothes and I was only slightly surprised to find she had and outfit all ready for me. I had learned not to fight Alice about buying clothes for me. It still made me wonder sometimes how she always had exactly what I needed at every moment. But, she was Alice after all.

By the time we made it back down, the teams were set. Edward was not the only one who was averse to playing against his mate. So, the teams had been organized accordingly. Garrett's team consisted of Kate, Edward, Nahuel, Maggie, Mary, Peter, Charlotte, Randall and me. Emmett, Rosalie, Tanya, Zaphrina, Senna, Benjamin, Kachiri, Tia and Alice were with Jasper. Esme, Siobhan, Liam, Carmen and Eleazar decided to stay in and visit. Carlisle was getting ready for a shift at the hospital.

Jasper, Emmett, Edward and Garrett had also worked out logistics and rules. They decided the clearing was too small and changed the playing area to a 20 square mile area in the Olympic range. Each vampire was allowed to use his or her talent to the full extent. There were rules like no dismembering each other, Emmet didn't like those. Prisoners could be taken, traded and rescued. In hand to hand combat, first one with lips on the other's throat was the winner. The looser had to sit out for 5 minutes and then return to his or her team's base before continuing to play.

When everyone was ready to go, we ran out to the area. Garrett and Edward captained our team. They divided us up and sent everyone out to scout our territory. The terrain was beautiful and varied. There were rocky cliffs and dense forest. Occasionally, a small clearing provided an extra obstacle. We picked one of the larger clearings as a base and began to build a fort. We gathered boulders from around the area and made a somewhat crude looking structure that would house our flag. Then we added boulders around it so it looked like a natural out cropping of rock rather than a base. Garrett hoped it would deter the other team. Edward was sure, with Alice on the opposing team, they would already know where the base was and what it looked like.

Garrett led a meeting to discuss strategy. "All of the various talents on each given team is going to make strategy very important." He began. "We need to make sure we understand each other's talents and we need as much information as possible on the other team. We have Edward- mind reading, Bella – shield" he turned to me. "Are you better at using that than before?"

I smiled. "I've been practicing and I can push my shield out about a half mile now but it is very draining. I can remove it from myself, although I don't like doing it. It is uncomfortable to be so exposed and I really can only do it when I feel very safe."

"Ok, very good," Garrett continued. "Kate – electric hands; I think that will come in handy when taking prisoners. Maggie – you can detect deception, correct?

Maggie giggled, "Yep."

"I think between Maggie and I we can do some good interrogating." Edward observed. "I think we need to worry about the other team's talents. I know we can get around Alice by changing our decisions a lot but that will not be easy. The only way we can fight off Zaphrina's gift is with Bella. I'm not sure what we can do about Benjamin or Jasper."

Edward looked at Garrett, "Well, I haven't really seen Jasper use his power in this type of situation before so I really don't know."

Garrett nodded.

At noon, both teams met in the neutral territory between our team areas and our game began. Edward and I were scouts to start. We ran down a couple of miles from the meeting point and started into the other team's territory. We kept to the trees. I kept my shield around him and Edward scanned thoughts. We moved quietly from tree to tree for quite some time. I heard a low chuckle form Edward. "It seems Alice knew I was coming. Jasper is translating The Constitution into Swahili. I didn't know he knew Swahili. Alice is singing show tunes in Chinese. Emmet is not with them." He was moving from one tree to the next getting closer to them, I followed. "Neither is Rosalie. Wow, Zaphrina, Senna and Kachiri all are singing something I've never heard before. They are actually singing together and in harmony with their thoughts." Edward stopped and shook his head. I stopped right next to him. "I have never had that happen ever. Benjamin, Tia, Tanya and Kachiri aren't there either."

Edward stiffened and started moving back through the trees so quickly I could barely keep up. "They are coming to get us. Alice knows where we are." Edward hit the ground, I was right behind him. I was suddenly on my back and Rosalie was on top of me. I could hear Edward and Emmett's growls erupting all around.

I was put on my feet, Rosalie on one side and Jasper on the other. I was filled was utter despair I wanted to sink to the ground and curl up in a ball. Jasper picked me up and started running. Benjamin was waiting for us in a clearing. He had made a place to keep prisoners. I was put in and rocks covered the opening.

"Crap!" I sat down. Not even an hour into the game and I was a prisoner, a lot of good that scouting expedition did. Maybe Edward had gotten away, I could only hope. At that moment, I heard Edward enter the clearing. Through a space between rocks I could see him. He looked shaken. He kept blinking his eyes. Zaphrina and Senna had him.

I started to move my shield to help him when the despair hit again.

"Jasper," I whined.

Edward was placed in the same rock structure I was. It took everything I had to get over to him. With him this close, I could move my shield to protect him but he could also feel Jasper's control over me. Even with the despair, he relaxed greatly as I shielded him from Zaphrina. We sat there for several hours. Everyone went to do other things except for Jasper. As dark encroached, I wondered if Garrett knew we were captured yet.

I heard some movement; I could see Benjamin and Tia moving into the clearing. "Hey, Jasper, we're here to relieve you. Alice says that no one's going to try to rescue them, at least any time soon."

I heard Jasper get up. The despair ceased. He hit us with another strong wave of emotion, discouragement, said goodbye to Benjamin and Tia and sprinted away. I wondered, how delivering that emotion for so long affected him. It was taking me longer to recover than I thought it would. I was shaking. Edward and I held each other while our bodies released the hours of powerful emotion. The discouragement made it even more difficult to shake the despair. Discouragement hung in the air like a persistent fog, it made everything challenging because no matter what I did or thought it felt as though I could never be successful at anything, ever again.

During the night, the fog dissipated and Edward and I were able to relax. He whispered so low only I could hear. "I'm sorry. I should have taken better care of you than that."

For a split second I moved my shield to give him my thought, "We both did the best we could." I felt so bad I hadn't been there to shield him from Zaphrina.

"Can you stop shielding me so I can listen to them?" he whispered.

We sat cuddled together for several hours waiting for a chance to escape or for the rescue party. We were sure that if we tried moving any of the stones Ben would have them back in place before we could get out. We could hear scuffles happening here and there in the distance all night. We watched the sunrise and the scuffles continued. Every once in a while, Edward could hear traces of the thoughts of those coming to get us, but guards from Jasper's team would stop them before they even got close enough to for Edward make out any complete thoughts.

As mid morning approached, Edward leaned in close and whispered, "I can hear Kate, but I don't know what she's doing… Oh, she was just trying to keep Alice in the dark. If we move these two rocks we should be able to get out. We are going to push them out and run. Get ready, now!"

I heard two screams as we pushed the rock away and ran. Kate quickly caught up to us. Kate and I followed Edward. It felt so good to run. We had been stuck for 20 hours and while I wasn't sore or anything. I was delighted to be out.

As we crossed on to our territory, Kate began telling us about everything that had happened over night. It took quite a while before they knew we were gone. It had taken even longer to find out where we had been taken. During the night, the team had tried many different strategies but had not made it very close. They had taken Tanya and Kachiri as prisoners. Jasper and Emmett tried to get them earlier and Kate nearly took them as well.

Edward had listened to many thoughts during the night, Tia's were especially helpful. Now, we were certain as to the whereabouts of the flag. Edward had seen a stone fort. He knew Zaphrina, Senna Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper and Alice were taking turns guarding.

We needed a plan to get the flag. Kate, Nahuel, Garrett and Randall were left to guard our territory and our prisoners. The rest of us set out each going in a different direction. Edward and Garrett had figure a system to keep Alice busy. They told us to change plans every 30 seconds to keep Alice off. We off set our changes so that if she were looking, and we were sure she was. Alice would see a new plan every five seconds.

I took to the trees. I loved being up in the trees. It was still fun to be so nimble after my awkward human existence. I raced through the forest. First in trees, then on the ground, I changed from going toward their fort to going away.

While I ran, I changed plans from shielding on the ground to shielding from the trees, to shielding from a long way away and standing right next to their fort. At one point, I even decided to return to the house and stop playing all together. Another time, I decided to run to New Jersey. It was amusing making up crazy plans and thinking about how Alice would take them. I got to the fort before I ran out of new plans to decide on. I sat high in the trees with Jasper's fort in view and changed plans every thirty seconds. I knew I was to shield everyone so Zaphrina couldn't get to them as they worked to get in and out but I couldn't let Alice know. I could see my team mates getting close as evening approached.

Alice was in the dark about specifics, but she knew we were coming. The opposition had pulled together as many as they could get quickly to provide defense. Benjamin and Tia weren't around. They must be on their way to rescue their other team members and get our flag.

I spread my shield over the forest like a blanket. I realized that if Zaphrina were under the blanket too she would be able to still affect everyone. Then, I tried to put a hole in my blanket right around Zaphrina. I had never tried to do that before but it worked beautifully. The hole followed her every move. I watched my team mates. I tried to put a hole around Emmett and Jasper and that worked too.

I watched the fighting under my, now, Swiss cheese blanket. I could feel Zaphrina trying and failing to change what the others were seeing. At one point, she tried to blind Charlotte and Peter who were fighting Jasper and Emmett. She blinded Jasper and Emmett, instead. I giggled to myself. Charlotte and Peter quickly won. Emmett growled his displeasure as he and Jasper went to their fort for the five minute time out.

I saw Edward fighting Rosalie and watched him take her out for the moment, also. She made her way to the fort as well. Now, we couldn't get to their flag at all. I hadn't expected that rule to backfire. While Jasper and Emmett waited their time, Edward and Mary fought Zaphrina and Senna. Peter and Charlotte, together, had gotten Alice and were holding her. Maggie was biding her time, hiding in the woods. It looked like she was trying to decide if she was going to leave. I had a suspicion she was waiting to jump in and get the flag as soon as Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie left the fort.

Maggie's plan worked well. Jasper and Emmett left ready to bang heads together. Rosalie was watching Emmett, distracted. I saw Maggie's curls bounce. She was in and out before anyone but Alice noticed. The fighting continued and she dashed back toward our fort. Alice was screaming about it, she was still being held by Charlotte and couldn't go after Maggie. No one could understand her over the sound of vampire bodies colliding.

Then I felt it, overwhelming hopelessness, I felt as though there could never be a chance that Maggie would make it to our fort. I had the nearly overwhelming desire to pull my shield around me and curl into a ball. I took a deep breath and pushed the emotions as hard as I could. There was only one reason to feel this so strongly. Jasper was here. He had found me. He knew he could affect me even though Zaphrina couldn't. I wanted to find him and take him out, but it took all my energy to keep shielding my team.

Jasper spread the hopelessness out over the whole group. They were all incapacitated with grief even his own team mates. Maggie, however, was already out of his range. Run, Maggie, I thought.

It got eerily quiet very quickly with all the vampires stooped in hopelessness. Then, I heard Alice gasp. The misery immediately vanished.

I jumped down from my tree to search for Alice. She sounded close, smelled close. Then, I found her. Jasper was holding on to Alice in the clearing near their fort. Her eyes were glazed over, her body slumped. What she was seeing?

It only took a half a second before Edward was there holding on to me as he watched Alice's vision with grief in his eyes. No one had even taken a breath for 45 seconds, when Alice blinked. Edward gasped and instantaneously pulled me tighter.

"Tell me," I whispered.

Alice and Edward looked at each other in an obvious silent conversation.

"What is going on, Edward?" I was beginning to panic.

"Alice, please tell us." I heard Jasper whisper.

Alice and Edward locked eyes again. Alice bowed her head, closed her eyes and whispered, "Charlie."

_Author note: I'm sorry about the 2 cliffies in a row. It will all come together in the next chapter. _

_PLEASE review.... I've got lots of readers out there....I want to know what you're thinking._


	4. Chapter 4 no tears

_Alice and Edward locked eyes again. Alice bowed her head, closed her eyes and whispered, "Charlie."_

Charlie?

My mind refused to grasp the word. Charlie?

Then it hit me like a ton of bricks

Charlie!

No. No. Not Charlie.

Charlie was supposed to have been out fishing with Billy and Old Quill on Old Quill's boat on Sunday. He had been excited and talked about it for over a week. It had been so cold, would they still have gone? Did he get sick? Today was Tuesday; he would be at work. Was something going to happen there? Could we stop it? Was he going to be shot or in an accident? There were too many questions in my mind to form one with my lips.

I stood there in shock, not even breathing. I barely noticed as Jasper quietly sent the Amazon coven to find everyone else and bring them back to the house. The game was over. I took a breath, the first since Edward grabbed on to me.

Alice looked at her watch and began the slow and deliberate explanation, "Charlie is having a heart attack," She looked again, "right now. He is at work. The deputies will find him in about 30 seconds and call the ambulance. Carlisle is at the hospital and will be right there waiting for the ambulance to bring Charlie in. He will not be able to help him; the damage to his heart is too extensive. There is really nothing that can be done." Alice sighed, "I think we should get back to the house. We will need to call Renesmee." She grimaced at the thought.

I turned into Edward's shoulder, "Oh, Renesmee is going to be devastated." I couldn't even imagine telling her. I was already going through my own waves of sorrow. Charlie. I knew I would see his death, but I didn't think it would happen so soon. Charlie. Charlie. Charlie. My mind cried out.

Each time I thought his name an oddly familiar hole made its presence known in my heart. It was not the gaping wound that Edward had left but the feeling was much the same. I, instinctively, wrapped my arms around my body and broke down. Sobs rip through me as I collapsed to the ground. Suddenly, I was in Edward's arms. He just held me there until the wave of panic began to subside. When he could tell I had calmed some, he raced to the house. I didn't really notice until we slowed under the massive Cedar trees that surrounded the Cullen home.

When he walked us in, Alice was on the phone pacing back and forth at a slightly faster than human speed, "Jasper's working on getting your tickets back, but you've got to get back to the mainland as soon as you can…you need to be at the airport as soon as possible. There are several flights leaving in the next few hours, and then none until tomorrow," she quickly explained. Her words brought me out of my stupor.

I could hear Jake on the other end, "Calm down, there's no need to panic. Let me talk to Ness, I'll call you back." He was using his Alpha leader voice. I knew what that meant. He was trying to keep himself calm and together. He would tell Renesmee. My heart ached for them. It was not fair to interrupt their honeymoon with such tragic news.

With a blast of cold air, the room was suddenly full of vampires. Maggie had a big, triumphant smile on her face and a flag clutched in her hand. Apparently, she had made it to the fort making us the winners. Her smile immediately vanished as she saw the anguish on every face in the room.

Alice turned to us. My usually happy pixie of a best friend looked at Edward, "If you leave right now, she will have time to say goodbye." A knowing expression crossed his face and I wondered what Alice had shown him.

I was still in Edward's arms. He sprinted with me to my Ferrari. I worked to calm myself down as we sped along the highway toward the hospital. I could do this. I _had_ to do this.

I had promised myself a long time ago that Charlie would know the truth, one day. One day was suddenly today. I would tell Charlie I was a vampire, his beloved Nessie was a vampire human hybrid and that he was a grandfather. A lump caught in my throat. How would he take the news? I hoped he would be happy for me, but what if he wasn't?

I took deep unnecessary breaths trying to calm myself, but it didn't work. So, I sat absolutely still and watched out the window unseeing, while I tried to work the words out in my mind. _Hey, Dad I know you know I'm different now, and that's because I'm a vampire._ No. _Dad, do you remember when I was really sick? Well, I was pregnant with Nessie and I almost died and Edward turned me into a vampire like him._ No. _Guess what? I'm undead_. Groan.

I went through hundreds of scenarios in the five minutes it took us to get there. None fit, none felt right. In my mind's eye I pictured Charlie's brown eyes wide with fright as I explained my new life to him. My heart sank with the thought. Don't over think this I assured myself Charlie has been hanging out with vampires and werewolves for over 7 years he can handle it.

The receptionist at the hospital recognized us as we entered the lobby. "Dr. Cullen is waiting for you in room 35," she said in a very unemotional tone.

We walked at a quick human pace but it felt so incredibly slow. I took a deep unnecessary breath trying to calm myself. The predictable burn in my throat barely registered. The emotional pain was far too great.

"Are you ready to do this?" Edward whispered so low a human ear could never pick it up. I nodded but I wasn't really sure. How can you ever be sure you are ready to see your father on his death bed, to say good bye? The more I thought about it the more I realized I wasn't ready at all.

Carlisle must have heard us because a door on the left side of the hall opened and Carlisle stepped out to greet us. "He is conscious right now but he doesn't have much time left," he said with a grim expression. "I'm so sorry, Bella. There isn't anything else I can do." Carlisle's tragic expression was disconcerting. He had always been the picture of calm and ease to me. How was I supposed to keep myself together when Carlisle couldn't even do it?

"I know," I whispered. I looked at Carlisle and then Edward. "I want to tell him," I said simply. They both nodded in understanding. When I was sure I would be OK talking to him, I went into the room. Edward stayed with me, never letting go of my hand.

The room was the same as most others in the hospital. It smelled sterile. A clocked ticked loudly on one of the white walls. I glanced around avoiding looking at Charlie for as long as I could. There was a stack of monitors on one side of his bed an electronic line bounced with every heart beat. I didn't need the line to tell me how his heart struggled I could hear each weakening beat. I could hear the drip of his I.V and each labored, raspy breath.

The life was leaving him. I wasn't sure how to say goodbye to my father. The hole in my chest ripped open at the idea and I hung onto Edward so I would stay standing. Edward supported me in every way. With a cheerless smile he directed me over to a set of chairs next to Charlie.

I could no longer avoid it, I looked at him. Charlie was tucked into a hospital bed. He looked old and tired. He had never seemed old to me before but he looked 20 years older than he had at the wedding just a few days ago. His skin had an unhealthy grey tinge to it. My heart ached. How could I do this? How could I sit here and watch my father die? I continued to listen to the labored beating of his frail heart and each difficult raspy breath. His eyes were closed. He almost looked peaceful.

We sat in the chairs next to the bed. Edward made a clearing his throat sound, I gave him a look and he shrugged. Charlie opened his eyes at the sound and made an attempt at a smile. "Hey, Bells," he whispered.

I reached over and took his hand. I noticed how much colder his hand was than usual. He no longer winced at the coldness of my hands as he had gotten used to it over the years but I wondered if he could tell the difference today. "Oh, Dad," I tried to smile back. Tears please, I begged in my mind. I just wanted to cry to feel the release of tears running down my cheeks. My eyes burned but no tears fell, no tears would ever fall again.

"How are you feeling?" I knew it was a stupid question but I had no other ideas of how to start talking to him.

"Oh, I'm all right," he wheezed, "You know me, tough as nails." He tried to smile again. That my father could have a sense of humor at a time like this brought a little smile to my own face.

Edward whispered to me so Dad wouldn't hear, "He knows he's dying, Bella."

My dead heart ached I didn't want to do this. If I told Charlie the truth, then I was admitting he was dying. I wanted to deny it, I desperately held on to him. I quickly decided I didn't know how much longer he would be able to listen. I needed him to know my secrets so I dove right in, "Dad, I need to tell you some stuff."

He shook his head, "Need to know basis only, Bella."

"I need you to know, please," I took an unsteady breath. Edward squeezed my hand in an attempt to comfort me.

Dad closed his eyes and quietly said, "OK."

"Dad, I love you," I began. "I'm so glad that I came to live with you. It's been absolutely wonderful being able to keep a relationship even though I've been through so many changes. Well, especially, one big change." I took deep breath. "Dad, I need you to know what I am…I'm a vampire."

He opened his eyes and looked suspiciously toward Edward. "So, the Cullen's…."

"Yes, they are all vampires. I found out before I started dating Edward."

"And you dated him anyway," he looked incredulous.

"Yes, I knew he was the one for me, Dad," I whispered. "I've always been happy with Edward. Remember that first night when I ran away to Phoenix?"

He nodded, and I could see the determination in his eyes to listen to my every word.

"I was being chased by a deranged vampire and Edward was trying to keep me alive."

"I'm sorry, I didn't take better care of her then," Edward apologized, his head bowed and his words spoken with sincerity. "I…we…almost lost her in Phoenix. It was a very close call."

"Edward saved me. Without him, I would have been dead long before that. He saved me from Tyler's van on that icy day… "

Charlie shook his head and closed his eyes again. "Do I really need to know all this?" he grimaced.

"I've wanted to tell you the truth for so long, Dad. I…I couldn't until now. It wasn't safe for you to know. Some other, very powerful, vampires don't like humans to know about us. They were quite upset when they found out I knew. I just… just couldn't put you in that situation." My shoulders hunched. I just couldn't tell my father that if he were to know before now he would have either had to be turned or killed. I loved my life as a vampire but I knew this was not a life Charlie would want.

Edward shook his head. "Sir, I'm sorry for all of the danger I put Bella in while she was human. I've always loved her so much; I couldn't stand to be without her. It's a bad excuse.…."

Charlie stopped him with a trembling hand. "If you've always loved her so much," he croaked, "why did you leave her broken and lost in the forest? She was so broken," He looked at me, a tear coasted down his cheek, "I thought I would never get her back."

Edward took a deep breath. I looked at him wondering what explanation he would give. We hadn't talked about the time he was gone in several years because it still hurt Edward to talk about it. He kept his eyes on the floor. "Um, well... I didn't _want_ to make Bella a vampire," He confessed. "It is a very painful process. Being a vampire is not an easy thing. No matter how good we get at resisting, we are always tempted by human blood. I felt my presence always put her in danger. I wanted her to be safe. I thought she was safer without me around and I thought she would get over me quickly and be able to live a normal human life. I was very wrong."

He took a shaky breath, "I was just as broken without her. Bella was smart enough to know what she wanted and where she belonged. She was brave enough to save me from my own stupidity," Edward took another unsteady breath. He looked up with a pained expression. I still hoped someday he would forgive himself for the decisions he had made. Our topaz eyes met, "She is and always has been and will always be everything to me. I know better now."

Charlie nodded and closed his eyes taking in all of the new information. We gave him time to process it all. Edwards's words touched me in a way I didn't expect. There were two pains now. One for losing Charlie and one for the self loathing my husband harbored. I decided in that moment. After Charlie was gone, I would do everything in my power to help my husband forgive himself. I would work the rest of my existence for it if I needed to. Finally, Charlie opened his eyes and looked at me expectantly, waiting for me to continue.

"We had no idea I would be able to get pregnant. During our honeymoon, I got sick. You've seen how fast Renesmee has grown. Her pregnancy was very fast and very…. difficult. The only reason I am here now is because Edward was able to change me. I'm the only mother of a half-vampire child that has ever been known to survive the birth."

"I figured a bunch of that out before," Charlie nodded. Of course he had.

"I thought you had," I smiled my acknowledgement. I could hear Charlie's heart weakening with each beat, and my lip trembled. He was leaving me. His body was struggling. He would not be able to keep fighting much longer.

"So, do you like being a vampire?" Charlie barely choked out

I grinned as best as I could. "I absolutely love it. I'm actually very good at being a vampire! I have always had excellent control. I've never tasted human blood, I only drink animal blood. The Cullen's keep that kind of diet, that's why they can be around humans. I have a really cool power. Not all vampires have a power but I do," I wanted him to know that I didn't regret my choices. I wanted to share this part of my life with him while I still could. "I can shield my mind from the mental attacks of other vampires and even extend it to protect others. The Cullen's have completely accepted me as one of their family. They are the best friends I've ever had. And I get to be with Edward forever." I whispered the last of it. I don't know if Charlie heard but Edward did and he rubbed the back of my hand with his thumb, adoration in his eyes.

I could hear Carlisle coming to open the door, so I stopped. Charlie looked up when he came in, "Do you know what they have been telling me?"

Carlisle nodded, "Yes, I do." His calm façade was back.

"Is it really true?"

"All of it. I want you to know that we love Bella very much, and you don't need to worry about her. I will always take care of her as if she were my own daughter." His eyes burned with an intensity I did not expect.

With this indication, Charlie relaxed considerably. He closed his eyes and opened them slowly. "Thank you, Carlisle…. I love you, Isabella," he whispered. His heartbeats were extremely faint. He wouldn't be with us much longer. The whole in my heart burned my father was dying right here beside me.

"I love you too, Dad," I murmured.

With that, his eyes closed for the last time. I sat there holding on to Edward with one hand and holding on to Charlie with the other, my past and my future. I listened as Charlie's heart and breathing became even more shallow and slow.

I closed my eyes. Charlie filled every thought. I thought of how happy he had been when I came to live with him and the way he looked when he was captivated by a football game. I reminisced of how I loved to cook for him and our comfortable silences. I remembered how his face turned eight shades of red when he found out about the motorcycle. I thought of the way he always came home happy after fishing. I recollected his determination to find Jacob and how he grieved over Harry and Billy. I reminisced about how handsome he looked the day he walked me down the aisle and the awe3 on his face when he held Nessie for the first time. I lingered on each and every memory of him. I could not, would not forget my father.

Over the past few years we had become closer than I ever thought possible. I had Renesmee to thank for that. Charlie could not hold back his love or affection from her. She brought out things in Charlie I had always thought were there, hidden. It made this separation all the more agonizing.

I already missed him desperately. I missed the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled and the way he looked at me. He had never been much for words but there was a look in his eye that made me recognize just how much he loved me. It was hard to think of life without him. A little voice in the back of my head reminded me that the part of my life without him would be much longer than the part with him. I stooped from the sting of this thought.

Edward let go of my hand to wrap his arms around me. We stayed like that and listened as first Charlie's breathing stopped, then his heart. Sobs started to rip through my body as Carlisle noted the time of death. Edward held me as I grieved, burying his face in my hair. My dad was gone, in his place there was nothing but an expanse of emptiness. I gazed upon his face. It was calm and peaceful, a smile played at his lips. The beginning of healing calmed the hole in my chest ever so slightly. I had been here with him and despite the pain of it I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. A small part of me was relieved; my dad had finally known the truth. The throbbing pain of loss nearly drowned out the small bit of healing.

I felt safe and loved in Edward's arms. I knew he would help me through the agony. I only wished to be able to ruin his shirt with my tears. The heart ache had no place to go but deeper inside, burning itself into my silent, wounded heart.

Once I was pulled together enough to make it out of the hospital, I told my sweet husband that I was ready to go. He kept one arm around me and we walked out past Sue and the wolf packs all congregated in the small waiting room. When they saw me, tears fell from every eye. They knew now, I was glad not to have to say the words. They cried the tears I could not. Part of me wanted to be them to share the sorrow and grief but I wasn't ready yet. I started to shake and sob at the thought. Edward pulled me tighter and led me out to the car.

_Please reveiw. Please. I hate begging for reveiws but I really would like some._


	5. Chapter 5 gone fishin'

_Author notes:_

_emm is just awesome.... I know I say it everytime but it really is true! Read her story (be)LONGING - It's great!  
_

_Thanks to qjmom for validating! _

_Disclaimer: I grovel at the feet of the most fabulous Stephenie Meyer and thank her for letting me play with her amazing characters. Her books have changed my life and I have tickets for the 12:05am showing of the movie! (sorry - I had to brag I'm so excited) _

**Renesmee**

_His expression was somber, tears in his eyes. I forgot my irritation and went to my husband. At that moment, my only thought was to comfort him. _

I held on to Jake's massive frame, rubbing his back, trying everything I could to console him. Jake was so upset just like he was two years ago, when Billy had died. I didn't know what I could to do to help him. His shoulders shook while tears flowed down his face; it took him two minutes to get the words out.

"That was Alice. Charlie is having a heart attack. He's going to die. We need to go home," he choked.

I felt shock slowly take me over. My brain couldn't latch hold of the words. It was like I was in a wind tunnel and I could see Jacob's lips moving but couldn't hear the actual words. I stood holding on to Jake while sobs coursed through his body. I couldn't feel anything. The only thought in my head was that we had to leave, now. So, I helped Jake to the couch and started packing everything up. When Jake got up to help, I was doing everything so fast he could hardly keep up. We had everything packed and were setting sail after only ten minutes.

In the cab, on the way to the airport, Jake called Jasper and got the flight information. We would be flying out in about two hours. We checked in and made it to the gate with thirty minutes to spare. Several times, Jake pulled me back and reminded me to slow down. I was still in a numb panic.

We stood watching planes and waiting for the boarding call, Jake's arm tight around my shoulder and my arm wrapped around his waist. I felt the phone in Jake's pocket vibrate and reached for it.

"Hello?"

"Renesmee?" Alice sounded so sad I barely recognized her voice.

"Uh huh."

"I just got a call from your Dad, Charlie is gone. I am so sorry…Your mom and dad were with him when he died."

I couldn't move. Jake took the phone from me, talked to Alice for a moment and the flipped the phone closed with a snap.

I felt Jake's arms around me, but I could not respond to them. I could hear someone gasping, loudly. Gasping and sobbing. I sure wished that person, whoever it was, would just shut up so I could process this whole mess. Several people walked up to us to offer assistance, including a security guard. Very calmly, my husband explained that I had just learned a very close relative had unexpectedly passed away. They each had sad but understanding eyes as they left us alone. My eyes stung with tears and I realized the gasping and sobbing person was me. The numb was gone and left nothing but raw wounds in its wake.

I turned into Jakes chest and he held me tight while my shoulders shook with sobs. It hurt so deep - in places I didn't know pain could exist. So much of my family was immortal; it was easy to forget some were not. I had no idea the all encompassing pain of loss. Jake held me tight, his face buried in my hair. He rubbed comforting circles into my back. I could feel Jake's tears wet my hair; mine saturated his shirt.

The flight began to board and we took our places in first class. I took a sip of soda Jake had ordered for me and then relaxed against Jake's warmth. I concentrated on the sound of his steady heart beat to distract myself. I was tired and my head hurt from crying. I fell asleep to the hypnotizing sound of Jake's heart and the comfort of his encompassing heat.

Nightmares filled my sleep. I was driving up to the house I knew so well. I went inside, calling for Grandpa. "Grandpa!" I screamed over and over. I looked and looked, but Grandpa was nowhere to be found. I searched around the house and noticed how dusty everything was; it looked as if he had been gone for a very long time. With a crushing blow, I knew he would never come back to this house, would never be anywhere ever again. I collapsed to the floor shaking with sobs.

I could hear a whisper in my ear,"Shh, Shh, Ness - It's OK – We'll be home soon – It's OK." Had I been sobbing in my sleep as well? Jake's whisper woke me. I was glad. I wouldn't be sleeping again anytime soon. I just couldn't bare that dream again. I stayed in Jacob's arms; tears continued to course silently. He stroked my hair and it calmed me a great deal – he really did know what I needed, all the time. After a few hours, our plane landed in Houston.

Jake put his arm around me and led me to the next gate. I concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other and staying close to Jake. My eyes were blurry and my mind hazy from all of the crying and the lack of sleep. I knew that I had never cried this much in my whole life put together. Nothing had ever hurt like this. I forced myself not to think of Grandpa Charlie. I knew I would not be able to walk at all if another round of sobs hit right now.

Luckily, we did not have to wait long to board the next flight. Grandpa and I had a special relationship and while I loved Carlisle and thought of him as a grandfather as well, Grandpa Charlie was just Grandpa to me. Maybe it was because Carlisle would be more of a peer, after time, and Grandpa never would. I was glad I had found my seat before that thought had occurred; the force of it was nearly overwhelming. The raw wounds of loss twinged painfully again.

I allowed the memories to flood like water from a broken dam. I remembered the first time I saw Grandpa; I hid in Mom's hair while Dad reminded me not to bite him. I remembered his eyes; they were just like mine and just like Mom's…before. I remembered all the Christmases in his little house. It was always plumb full of all the wolf boys like my Jacob. Everyone was noisy and happy. Grandpa had taken me fishing lots of times. Jake and Mom and Dad came, too, the first time. They just watched. I got to be a good fisherman, but I hated eating the stuff. He used to joke that even though I hated eating fish; at least I liked to go with him…which was more than my mom could ever say. I remembered sitting on Grandpa's lap; he taught me about foot ball and basketball while we watched the game with Emmett and Jake. I think Jake was glad I enjoyed a good game as much as he did. The look on Grandpa's face when I told him I was marrying Jake was a priceless memory I would never forget.

Grandpa's special smile filled every memory - the smile that was mine alone. The smile that made me feel in every part of me - I was the most special to him. Sobs coursed through my body. Each memory held the joy of Grandpa and the sting of loss. The emptiness was all consuming, at moments it felt my whole body would have come apart if Jake had not been holding me so closely. My eyes were red and swollen and every muscle was exhausted from the constant sobbing when the plane landed in Seattle.

**BELLA**

We stood in the airport waiting for Jake and Renesmee – I was nearly shaking from nervousness. The pain had already eased, some. The healing had begun over night - Edward had held me, whispering his love at times, but mostly just being there. I could tell the affects of time, enhanced by a loving husband would mend my heart. I always found it hard to keep up the human façade when I was so nervous. I had to keep reminding myself to blink, breathe and fidget instead of being the statue that was more natural. I worried over and over - how would Renesmee be taking this? How could I help her through? Human death was not something she had even seen much. She had watched from the sidelines when Billy died, but she was much younger then and it was the only time she had ever been exposed to death and grieving.

I watched the security area closely while I listened for Jake and Ness. When I saw them I gaped, she looked horrible. Her face was swollen from crying, she looked like she was absolutely exhausted. Jake had his arm around Renesmee's waist helping her walk down through the security exit. My eyes began to sting the wounds from yesterday tore open again. My baby was hurting and I couldn't help her, not really. I want tears! I screamed in my head though I knew it would do no good. I looked at Edward, his arm was around my waist, his eyes locked on our little girl. He looked as if he would shed tears too, if only he could.

Jake and Ness finally made it past the security sign and over to where we stood waiting. Edward and I each took a moment to hug her, Jake never let go. I felt a fresh wave of sobs, hers and mine, begin as we embraced. We stood there for a long time just holding on to each other and sharing our grief over Charlie. When our sobs subsided I pulled away to look in her eyes. I could see the pain and the loss so deeply; I had to hold my breath for a moment to push away another round of sobs. I caught a strand of hair and tucked it behind her ear. Then I kissed her wet cheek and whispered my apologies for ending her honeymoon. She shook her head slightly and we started walking out to our car.

Edward had decided his beloved silver Volvo was getting old and bought a new one, this time, midnight blue. Rosalie had spent a good deal of time fixing it up to Edward's specifications. The car was smooth and super fast. Ness and I snuggled into the backseat while the guys grabbed the luggage from baggage claim.

Renesmee curled up on my lap like she had when she was a small child. In an equally childlike gesture, she reached her hand up and set it against my cheek. She played out her favorite memories of Charlie and each one held joy seasoned with strong helpings of grief. The hole in my heart began to ache again. I ached for the loss of Charlie but even more so for the pain of the little girl in my arms. Her eyes filled with innocence, she asked me, in her way, how to cope.

I didn't know how to answer her. I was trying to decide if there was anything I could say at all, when I heard the footfalls of our husbands. They put the bags in the trunk and got in the car - we began speeding our way toward Forks.

Apparently, Edward had heard Renesmee's question on his way through the parking garage because he began to explain, "You really have to find your own way to deal with loss, Ness. It is not really something anyone can tell you how to do. The funeral will help as it will give you a chance to say goodbye, and time will help." I was instantly grateful for his wisdom.

Jake nodded in agreement, "It will be OK, baby. We'll figure it out together. I'll help you every way I can." He looked back at her and took her hand. Jake's eyes glazed over and Edward grinned. I had seen this before. Ness was showing Jake how much she loved him. It was simply an amazing thing to watch but nearly impossible to describe. Jake slouched back against the seat a joyful grin on his face, eyes half closed in complete contentment.

Ness gave in to the exhaustion - she cuddled in closer and soon fell asleep. The drive went very quickly. I watched the forests zoom past us and listened to the quiet sounds of Renesmee sleeping. Jake soon followed. When the car stopped, Jake woke up. He saw her still sleeping in my arms. He motioned for me to not disturb her, came around the car and took her from me so he could carry her up to Edward's room. I did not protest - they could both needed rest. As I watched him lovingly carry her into the house I had a moment of pure insight - He would always take care of her, there was nothing she needed that he would not do. The thought was wonderful and oddly disturbing as I followed them in with my love at my side.

Alice and Esme were sitting at the dining room table making sure everything we needed for the funeral was set. Sue had agreed to do the eulogy I knew she would do an excellent job, just like she had done at Billy's funereal. The empty spot burned as I made the last few decisions Alice needed. I was glad she and Esme had been here to help with all the planning. I doubt I could have done it alone. They had helped with picking flowers and securing the church, coffin, and burial plot. Esme had designed and carved the headstone. It was just perfect for Charlie. I was emotionally spent and Edward and I made our way back to the cottage for some respite. The funeral would be in the morning - I just couldn't put it off any longer than that.

The morning brought grey and oppressing clouds and the smell of rain. I wondered when the rain would hit as Edward and I slowly got out of bed. This new dawn brought a further lessening of my emptiness or maybe just the ability to handle it better. I hoped the same would be true for Renesmee. We dressed for the funeral and made our way back to the house. Jake and Ness were up and eating breakfast. Everyone else was nearly ready to go.

Sleep had done both of them a great deal of good. Renesmee smiled when she saw us, the first smile since their return.

"You seem to be doing better," I observed.

"Yea, sleep always helps put things in a better light. It just came as such a shock to me."

"It was a shock to me, too."

"Alice told us what happened during the game." She looked at me expectantly.

I told Renemsee about talking to Charlie. I told her all the things that were explained to him and his reactions. She seemed to relax when I told her he had already figured out what she was. I told her about his death, the slowing of the heart beats and how he died without pain.

Tears rolled down Jake and Renesmee's faces as I spoke. Edward held on to me. While it was difficult to talk about, the act was amazingly healing. The emptiness decreased as never before. I didn't realize I hadn't told anyone what had really happened in the hospital room. When I finished, Renesmee got up and gave me a hug.

"Thank you for telling us everything, Mom, and, for thinking to tell Grandpa everything. I'm glad he finally got to know."

"So am I…"

The four of us and Esme took the Volvo, and everyone else followed in Carlisle's Mercedes. When we arrived at the church, the citizens of Forks were lining up to see Charlie one last time. We joined them.

Quiet organ music filled the church; a comforting smell permeated the air. It must have come from the flowers; Alice was a genius when it came to flowers. However, I didn't spend any time looking at them. At first, I didn't really look at anything; just the back of Jake's navy suit. When we came to the coffin, I looked down at my beloved father. Emotion swelled in my chest, sadness, joy, loss, but most of all love. His face was peaceful with a smile playing at the edge of his lips. I couldn't help but know that he was happy where he was right now. I, briefly, wondered if you could go fishing in heaven. Jake held on to Renesmee and Edward held on to me as we gazed into the coffin, each of our hearts reaching out with final goodbyes. Tears trailed down Jake and Renesmee's cheeks; they cried the tears we could not.

The four of us stood back and watched the good people of Forks bid farewell to the Chief. Tears were not uncommon this day. The vampires here were some of the few with dry eyes. I kept my head down because I didn't want people to think of me as uncaring when I did not cry for my father. If only they knew how badly I wanted to cry and how my eyes stung but the tears would never come.

I learned a great deal about my father during the service. The stories that were told he would never have told himself. Charlie had found several children lost in the woods, each on a different occasion. He had saved lives by checking in on different senior citizens in the area. Each story warmed my heart and tears of gratitude were spilt by each speaker. He, truly, was an important part of this community.

I held Renesme's hand through the service. I could feel her silent sobs and my heart ached for her. Jake had his arm around her the whole time providing comfort as only he could.

The services ended and we followed the funeral procession to the Forks Cemetery. Carlisle conducted a very short service for family and close friends at the cemetery and then my father was buried. The headstone Esme had made was beautiful with a scene of a fisherman. Charlie's full name and the years of his birth and death were engraved into the river. Under the scene it simply said _gone fishin'. _It fit him perfectly.

Edward and I stood looking on, holding each other tightly. The Cullen's and the wolves were all there in a tight group with us. Time seamed to stop, in that moment we mourned together. The pain, sorrow and love hung around us like a thick fog. Tears streamed from every mortal eye; sobs ripped through every chest. The sky joined us in our sorrow and even though the rain poured, we still did not move. The rain ran down my face, and despite the fact that it was not the tears I longed for the sensation was much the same. I could feel each drop run down my face, the stinging in my eyes calmed, each trickle carried with it a salve that soothed the wounds within. We were all soaked to the skin when the rain decreased to a slow drizzle. It was as if the clouds had declared the end to this gathering and everyone quietly made their way back to their vehicles.

Jake and Renesmee decided to go to the reservation with Sue. Alice and Jasper climbed into the Volvo with us. After a moment, Alice spoke quietly.

"I know you've decided to sell the house. I'll help you clean it up."

"Thank you."

With that, we had a quiet ride home. I was ready for a hot shower and some quiet time with Edward. The house could wait for tomorrow.

_Author notes_:

_Please show some love and reveiw.... I know you are reading it, my numbers are larger than I ever imagined they'd be so just let me know what you think. Please._


	6. Chapter 6 thought process

_Author notes: _

_Emm is my awesome beta --- she keeps me from doing really stupid things. Kisses to my DH - he has read the books and reads my story too - what a great guy. _

_Stephenie Meyer is the great creator of this wonderful vampire universe and I feel honored to dream here._

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We didn't go into the house just parked in the garage and started back around. Edward smiled a crooked smile at me and said, "Let's go for a run."

I nodded and followed him out through the trees. I lost myself in the feel of running, the wind blowing past my face, and just enjoying the movement. The exhilaration of running relieved the tension and stress of the past few days. We passed by one of the forts. In my mind, it seemed as though the game had happened another life time ago. The thought passed through my mind like water through a sieve and I continued to think of nothing other than the run.

While we ran, the air turned colder again and the rain changed to snow. After two more hours, we stopped in a beautiful clearing. The skies were dark, the forest so quiet, a few flakes drifted lazily to the ground. Edward pulled me close and kissed me hard, his eyes were dark and burned in a way I had never seen before. "We should take our clothes off so we don't have to run back naked," he whispered.

The look burned through me with I removed my clothing as fast as I could without ripping them. I turned to see his body in all the splendor of its natural glory and attacked before I could even think. We each gave ourselves over to instinct and animalistic urges - Growls, hisses and mewling howls reverberated through the forest.

When we finally collapsed, in a satisfied jumble, in the middle of the clearing, a few things caught my attention. First of all, several trees, previously standing tall and straight, were off kilter, leaning this way and that. There was one tree uprooted and a couple others that had snapped in half. I remembered Emmett's comments a few years ago, before our arm wrestle. So, that's how they destroyed so many houses, I thought to myself. I had to admit, letting go like that was completely exhilarating. I hadn't ever given my instincts total control like that and I had never seen Edward that way before - I confess - I liked it, very much.

The forest was quiet again, the snow was falling a little harder now but not much. Then I heard faint growls, they were getting louder as the animal neared. It was downwind so I couldn't smell it. Then my dead heart nearly restarted when, with the growls, I heard giggles. Edward and I both got to our feet in a vampire flash. He took my hand and dashed to the trees with our clothing. We hurriedly dressed so Jake and Nessie would not catch us in such an exposed state. I could tell they were coming from the direction of the reservation – I figured they were hunting. Edward and I agreed to wait while they passed us and then hunt our way back to our cottage. I held my breath to contain my nervous giggles while we quickly dressed and waited for them to pass us.

I could see them running towards the clearing. The big russet wolf chased the auburn beauty and then she chased him in an odd sort of leapfrog. Her run was more like a dance each leap was graceful, each step, elegant as she made her way through the forest. His run was so smooth and fluid it looked as though he were on flat clear ground rather than running through the rough terrain of the forest. I could see the air push through his fur. They entered the clearing and immediately began wrestling and playing around just like always. The sight made me smile - they were best friends as well as husband and wife.

Ness had nearly pinned Jake when Jake flipped her over in one lithe movement. I could see her there, her head between his front paws. He began to nuzzle her face and his figure shimmered just a little. Edward grabbed me and gruffly whispered, "We have to leave, now!" He was off like a shot and I followed a half second later, slightly confused. Why did we need to leave in such a hurry?

Worried about my husband, I tried to keep up with him but Edward was running at top speed. I went as fast as I could but I knew I wouldn't be able to catch up until he stopped or, at least, slowed down a bunch. It was not long before, he was out of eyesight. I followed his scent and wondered why he was not going towards the cottage. I followed him out to our meadow. He stood in the middle of the meadow still as a statue. I came to the edge and watched him. I was still confused, why the emergency? I walked slowly over to him. "What's wrong, my love?"

He took a deep breath. "Jacob's thoughts," he shuddered, "Renesmee's thoughts. It was too much - more than a father should ever see."

I couldn't resist…. I started laughing, I laughed so hard I couldn't speak.

"Oh, yea, it's _real _funny," sarcasm flowed freely. He pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I'm sorry," I giggled."You act like the world is ending and it's just them…. They _are_ married you know."

"I know they are married, but still - I don't want to know about it."

I regained my composure, "We were hiding from them and they thought they were alone – each was perfectly justified."

"I realize that, but I will never be able to forget it," He whined.

I took a deep breath and wished I could relieve some of his heart ache. I hated to see him so upset, even if the reason had made me giggle. We started walking back home. He was still visibly disturbed and I wanted to help so badly. The only thing that would help is if he could forget. Vampires never forget – they are worse than elephants, I reminded myself. For a moment, I wished I could go back in time so I could block him – so he would hear those thoughts. If I could erase that one small memory, I would. I sighed.

Edward gave me a funny look. "What?" I asked him.

"I don't know," He looked very puzzled.

It was odd but I didn't really think much about it and I started to think about my dad's house. We would need to start cleaning it out. I was trying to decide whether or not to fix it up before we put it on the market. Either way, the selling price would be about the same. Esme might like to fix it up anyway, just for fun. I smiled at the thought and started considering what could be done to make the house look nicer.

I could see our house way off in the distance; it looked like somebody was sitting on the step. I narrowed my eyes, but I still couldn't see who. Edward noticed my expression. "It's just Alice," he said smiling. I was glad he was smiling again.

When she saw us she danced out to greet us. "Guess what," her eyes twinkled.

"Well, I would guess it doesn't have anything to do with "The Song of the South," Edward chuckled.

She stuck her tongue out at him and smiled at me. "Angela and Ben are moving to Forks."

Angela and Ben had gotten married a few years ago just after they had both gotten their bachelor's degrees. Angela had been working as a nurse, while Ben finished up a masters degree in computer science. He was looking to be a special affects/ computer animation kind of guy so I never expected they would be back. I blinked and looked back at my pixie friend. "OK?"

She grinned, "Ben's job is telecommuting so, they can live wherever they want. And, Angela's pregnant – well, she will be soon. "

I thought about it for a second and smiled, "Do they have a place to live_?_"

"Nope." She popped the P.

"I was hoping that's what you'd do," she gushed. "I'll go talk to Esme. You two get cleaned up and come up to the house we've got to get this all planned." She danced away.

Edward pulled me close from behind and whispered, "You are so kind and generous, in every way. It makes me love you even more, every time I see it." He pulled my hair to the side and placed gentle kisses around the back of my neck just above my shirt collar. It sent chills down my spine.

"Well, I've always felt bad about missing their wedding. Giving them the house is just a belated wedding gift," I smiled. It wasn't until then that I noticed what a mess we were. We must have dropped our clothes in a mud puddle back in that clearing. We had a delightful shower, dressed and made our way back over to the main house.

I went into the dining room to see Esme and Edward went to find Jasper and Emmett. It sounded like they were playing Wii again.

Esme was sitting at the huge table drawing up plans. She had fabric samples and paint chips all organized according to color scheme. I loved the glint in her eye when she was working on a masterpiece. You could see how much enjoyment she got from beautifying everything. "She didn't look up from the plans she was drawing. "Bella, do you want to add on to the house?"

I thought about it for a minute. "Hey, Alice," I said in a regular voice. I couldn't see her but I knew she would be able to hear me.

"A girl and twin boys," the answer floated down from above us. I smiled - I just loved her.

"Yea, can we add a master bedroom to the upper floor, expanding the kitchen and putting a family room on the main floor?"

Esme nodded, "That's kind of what I was thinking. Just give me a couple of minutes and I'll have the rough draft drawn up."

I went to find my love. He was laughing at Emmett who was losing a rousing game of ping pong to Rosalie. I didn't know she played. Edward continued to chuckle.

"OK, I won," Rosalie huffed, "now you _will_…" she trailed off with a look in her eyes that told me Emmett knew exactly what he would be doing. I shielded Edward as fast as I could and gratitude washed across his face.

"Thanks," he mouthed. I smiled.

Emmett looked incredulous. "But you've never played before – how could you win?"

"It's not rocket science." Rose flipped her hair and examined her nails.

Emmett followed his wife outside looking dejected. I was sure it was only because he had lost the game and whatever bet… I was so glad I was not Edward. I really didn't want to think about what Emmett and Rosalie would be betting about. I kept my shield around him for a few more minutes until I was sure they were out of his range.

I pulled my shield away and Edward smiled, "Hey, the newlyweds are here." Edward jumped up to the front door and met them in the yard. My mouth gaped as I watch Edward joke around with Jake. Hadn't he just been so mad with Jake - he couldn't even run slow enough for me to keep up? Now, he was all happy to see Jake. What had happened? I ran the last couple of hours through my mind. I didn't know what had made this difference but Edward seemed just fine with Jake right now.

"Bella," I heard Esme from where I stood on the front porch. I slipped inside, filing the thought away for future pondering.

"What do you think of this?" Esme pointed to her drawing as I entered the room. "I enlarged the bedrooms just a bit and moved the bath room over to make room for a hall to the master bedroom. It is a good sized master bed room but nothing too over the top," She smiled. "Then on the main floor, we have enough room to double the size of the kitchen add a bit to the living room , give a good sized family room and a small office for Ben . We can keep the fireplace just where it is."

"Oh, it's perfect, a great family home. I'm sure they will love it."

"If you want we can make a fenced area of yard with a swing set and maybe a detached garage back here," she pointed towards the back corner of the house plans.

"Can we get it all done before they need it?"

"You bet!" Alice danced in. "They don't even know they are coming, yet. We will be able to have it all done just in time. They really don't even have any furniture to speak of so we should furnish it, too."

"You don't think that's too much?"

"Absolutely not, if we do this for them Angie will get to be a stay-at- home mom just like she wants."

If the gift we were giving their family was a great mom to raise great kids, I would agree to it any day. I knew Angela would be the best mom any little kid ever had.

"Hi, Mom," Nessie came over and gave me a squeeze. "What are you guys working on?"

"Well, I thought since we had fixed your place up on the reservation that I would give Charlie's house to some friends of mine who are starting a family and we are talking about how to fix it up." I was suddenly concerned Jake and Renesmee would want the house. I wondered why I had not considered it before.

"How wonderful!" my lovely daughter exclaimed, "It's a perfect idea."

I was instantly relieved of my brief panic. Of course, Jake would want to be on the reservation I reasoned. Esme showed Alice and Ness the plans and they offered input. This house was going to be amazing; Angela and Ben would have everything they would need.

"We should go over to the house and start going through things," Alice said quietly. She knew that it would be a difficult process.

I took a deep breath and said, "Alright," at the exact moment as my daughter and in the same tone. Alice shook her head and laughed. We followed her out to let our husbands know where we were going.

Renesmee had a hard time entering the empty house but once we were inside she seemed O.K. Ness picked up a bunch of Charlie's fishing gear and set it aside to take home with her. We gathered things to be given to Goodwill and other things to just be thrown out. Alice decided we would need a dumpster and a U-Haul and made two quick phone calls. I insisted Ness take the rocking chair and she agreed.

I hoped she would be rocking those grand babies soon, I doubted she would have many fertile years. I had discussed the possibilities very briefly with Carlisle. The thought almost made me laugh - I could possibly be the world's only 18 year old grandmother or even great grandmother. I found several boxes of pictures and set them aside.

We found my crib in the basement. It was in very good shape and up to safety code so we decided we could give it to them, too. A nursery would be set up in the smallest bedroom. Esme had decided to go with a neutral theme. The walls would be painted sky blue with white fluffy clouds and pastel balloons floating through. Pastel balloons would decorate everything else. It would feel like you were floating in the sky. It would feel calm and not too girly – a lovely nursery.

I heard Jake's car pull up outside. Renesmee and Edward had given Jake a classic Mustang to rebuild a few years ago. He had finished it just before he and Nessie were engaged. It was a candy apple red 1968 Mustang GT Fastback. Jake's loved it almost as much as he loved my little girl.

I walked into the kitchen. Nothing in the house had been too difficult to deal with until now. The yellow cabinets filled me with sadness. I had not talked to my mother in four years. Phil had a huge falling out with Charlie over me. They had come to visit for the first time since my change. After what, I thought, had been a lovely dinner, both Phil and Renee were very sure something was wrong with me and insisted that Charlie convince me to leave Edward. He tried to convince them how very wrong they were but they would not be deterred.

If he wouldn't talk to me, they decided, they would. Charlie stopped them; they left the next day without saying good bye. Not one of them had told me of the problem until Mom and Phil left and I insisted Charlie tell me what had happened. Charlie spilled the whole thing right there so fast he hardly took time to breathe. I felt bad about the whole situation. I tried several times to call and they never answered. Eventually, the line was disconnected.

Not wanting to think about the situation one minute more, I moved over to the font room and looked out the window. Ness was bending over the back of the Mustang putting the fishing equipment in. Jake and Edward were standing off to the side. Jake was watching her closely. Edward growled a feral growl and pushed Jake hard back into the trees.

I shook my head and laughed. I figured if I was going to spend eternity with Edward I better have a sense of humor. He sure didn't have one right now.

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	7. Chapter 7 charlie's house

_Author's notes: Lot of thanks to everyone who has reviewed. Lots of cookies to my awesome beta emm._

I ran into the woods. As I caught a glimpse of Edward and Jake, a pale fist made contact with a russet face with a loud crunch. I screamed, "Edward, stop!"

He hesitated for a second. I shielded him from Jake and gave him a glimpse of my thoughts. They were not the happy, kind, loving thoughts he was used to from me. My mind was so murderous and angry I really couldn't even form words to explain. Jake had become like a son to me and to Edward also, or I had thought. He looked at me, stunned. Jake was crumpled to the ground writhing in pain.

Alice rushed over to us, "Carlisle will be here in 3 minutes and 32 seconds."

I stood unsure of whom to go to. Did I go help Jake? Did I go pummel Edward? As I began to make my way in their direction - still unsure, I heard a shrill scream and long auburn hair blurred past me. She surprised me, and I lost my shield over Edward as she crossed between the two of us. He heard her thoughts and the force of them was immediately evident on his face. I pushed my shield out again as fast as I could, but the damage had been done.

The pain on his face seared through me. Edward took two long steps to Jake and watched Ness comfort him, unsure as to what action to take next. Ness watched her father with wary eyes from where she sat next to her husband on the ground trying to comfort him. Edward looked at me. "Take it away, please," he whispered. I felt my shield snap back around me. I worried that it was not the best thing for him to hear their thoughts right now, but I could not deny him.

I watched Edward crumple further. My heart ached. I saw Edward's eyes dart to Alice. "Go ahead," she whispered. "He will be fine." I knew Jake wouldn't have heard her soft words but, I knew she had spoken out loud so I could.

"I'm very sorry," I heard Edward's musical voice laced with agony.

Then, he was gone.

I followed his scent, keeping my distance. I felt ashamed. How could I do that to him? Share those awful thoughts. He would punish himself far more for it, and I hated that I had done it. Oh, how I wanted to take it back! I saw Edward out in the distance sitting on a rock, his head bowed, massaging the back of his neck with one hand. His self loathing permeated the air, and I felt crushed by it.

Once again, I longed to take the thought away. I felt a strange sensation pull at the inside of my shield and then it was gone. I looked up and found him looking at me. I closed the distance between us, my lips beginning to form an apology. Yet, before I could even get a word out Edward was standing with his hands on both of my shoulders confusion present in his eyes.

"Did you do that?" he whispered.

"Do what?"

"I don't know," he shook his head.

"Edward, what are you talking about?"

"I remember you thought something to me back there, but I can't remember what anymore. I must be losing my mind. I couldn't remember what Jake and Ness were thinking in the clearing either. Then, it all came back when he was thinking that way again and I lost it. I shouldn't have attacked him. She will never forgive me."

"Maybe we need to talk to Carlisle," I offered.

It worried me. Was it me? Was I erasing his memories? Well, it didn't seem to totally erase them just suppress. A flicker of a memory hit - oh, maybe that was it - I had been good at suppressing my own memories as a human. Could I be doing it now? Shielding him from his own memories? The thought was staggering.

"Bella, what is it?" the sound of Edward's voice broke me from my thoughts.

"We do need to talk to Carlisle, but I don't think he will be ready to talk to us for a while. Let's go home."

Edward was still berating himself for what he had done, so I worked at keeping him from Jasper. We held hands and walked the long way around to our home. I tried to comfort him, but he would not allow it.

A few birds were chirping as the cottage came into view. I began to wonder, what we could do about the Jake mess. He was perfectly justified in thinking about Renesmee in that way. In fact, part of me was glad he did. They were newlyweds for goodness sake. However, Edward couldn't be around it. We needed to give them time to cool off. A plan started forming in my mind.

We entered though the old wooden door. Edward sat and resumed his posture from out in the forest. I started a fire, not because I was cold, of course, but the sight and sound of it was comforting. I sat next to my guilt-ridden husband. I reached over and took Edward's hand. I rubbed circles into the back of his hand, gently trying to ease the tension in him. I watched the flames allowing myself to be hypnotized by the movement, sound, and color.

I wanted to tell him to stop his internal reprimand; browbeating himself wouldn't help anything. But, I knew he was already aware of that fact and my reiteration would not help the situation either.

"How could I have attacked Jake?" he moaned. "It was just so stupid."

"Edward, maybe we…" my phone buzzed. I looked at it - Alice, I should have known. I continued stroking his hand while I answered.

"Alice?"

"Bella, Jake is all healed now. It wasn't even too bad. You're right, but it going to take some talking to get him to agree. Carlisle will be there in a couple of seconds so wait until he gets there, he will agree with you and help." Click. She was gone.

I put my phone away. Edward opened his eyes to look at me and raised an eyebrow. I shrugged and Carlisle knocked.

"Come in," I said pleasantly. I was pleased I was getting better at controlling my voice and expressions.

Carlisle opened the door and stepped in. I wanted to block Edward but I knew better. Carlisle sat across from us, but I couldn't look at him so I just stared at the floor. "Jacob is just fine. Renesmee is really mad but Jake is more upset she is so distressed and not because you attacked him. He figures he deserved it, kind of." He shook his head and took a deep unnecessary breath. "What can I do to help you? Alice said you needed to talk to me. I'm always here for my children." His eyes filled with concern," You two look absolutely miserable."

I looked up at Carlisle then glanced toward Edward. He still hadn't moved. I decided now was the time. "I guess there are a couple of things. First of all, I think I can block memories. It is not really erasing them just more like suppressing them. I've done it to Edward twice now, both times without really realizing it."

"It _was_ you?" Edward mumbled.

"I didn't realize it until after the second time. I'm still not totally sure."

Carlisle nodded. "OK, we should probably do some testing to see how that works. Do you want to do that soon?"

"Well, I don't know when we should do it exactly." I held my breath and glanced briefly at Edward. I swallowed, "I think Edward and I need to leave for a while."

Edward looked disbelieving, "Leave? What are you talking about?"

Carlisle nodded again. In a hushed tone he confided, "Esme and I were talking about moving the family the other night. We have been here a very long time. Now that Renesmee and Jake are settled, it is really time for us to move on."

Edward looked at Carlisle for the first time, "We will be staying here with our daughter."

"We would catch up with you later; we just need an extended vacation, maybe as long as a year. We will keep in touch, of course.

"Why are you ignoring me?" Edward roared.

"Edward, please listen to me." I pleaded with my eyes and I opened my mind to him so he could see all of the sincerity I had. "Renesmee and Jake need some time to get to know each other…without us. I know you will hate to hear this, but he needs to be able to think about his wife without getting beaten to a bloody pulp.

"Our honeymoon was interrupted, so let's take an extra long one. Let's go see the world. We will keep in touch with our families. These kids need some space and so do we. Then, we can go back to being with Carlisle and Esme. We can't stay in Forks forever! And, in a few decades or so, Jake and Renesmee will be ready to move on and then they will come join us. Hopefully, by then, the parental feelings will have died down a little."

"Well, that is just ridiculous," Edward mumbled, but I could tell the logic was starting to break his resolve.

"While you both will be greatly missed, I really think that is a prudent idea." Carlisle said. "Everybody needs a little space sometimes." He looked at me, "Where do you think you will go?"

"I was thinking about backpacking around the world, going a lot of the way on foot, trying out some new wildlife, and really seeing the world. I think there is a lot Edward can show me and I want to see it with him," I smiled. This idea was getting better all the time.

Edward looked resigned and questioned, "Are you really sure that is what you want to do?"

"Yeah, I'm sure," I nodded enthusiastically. "Let's go see the world!"

"I'll leave you two alone to talk about this. Of course, you won't leave without saying good bye to everyone?" Carlisle got up to leave. "If you want to work on that new power before you leave, let me know. Otherwise, I'm sure we can work on it when you get back." With that, he left.

Edward skeptically looked at me. "You're really sure this is what you want to do? I didn't think you would want to leave your baby so soon. "

"She is a grown woman now, with a husband and we will take a satellite phone, right? Let's give them some space. Their honeymoon got interrupted, too. I'm sure you would have wanted Charlie away if he could have read your thoughts the last several years." I could see it in his eyes. I had convinced him.

"Where do you want to go?" he nearly chuckled.

"Show me the world, Mr. Cullen. You are my tour guide," I smiled. He jumped up and grabbed an atlas. He looked contemplative. "If we start out in the northern hemisphere we will be able to do more because it's cloudier during winter. Then, we can spend winter in the south also."

"When do you want to leave?"

"Is a week too soon?"

I nodded and smiled, "That will work, I think."

The sun had gone down and we retreated to the well used, though never slept in, bedroom for some much needed couple time. Cuddling in bed, we talked of possibilities for our trip as the sun rose. After talking, it seemed like Edward was even more excited to go.

I pulled on my jeans and started figuring out what would need to be done. A week would give me plenty of time to finish cleaning out the house, and then I could leave the rest of it to Esme and Alice. It sounded like they would be leaving not to long after they were finished fixing up the house. So, we should really pack up whatever we were taking with us so Esme would have to do it. I watched Edward study the Atlas for a few minutes and then decided if we were going to leave in a week, I better get moving.

"I'm going to go get Alice and keep working on getting the house cleaned out."

Edward nodded and I was off to find Alice. Of course, my phone buzzed and I read Alice's text.

_B_

_Meet me in the garage._

_A_

I minute later I climbed into the Porsche where Alice was impatiently waiting. She gunned the engine the second the door shut. "What took you so long?" She grumbled.

"What's wrong, Alice?" She so very seldom grumbled at me.

"I didn't think you would be leaving us so soon and for so long. I know it's for the best and Edward needs a break, but I'm going to really miss you," she whined. Then, she brightened, "But you are going to have so much fun."

We had just pulled up to Charlie's house. I got out of the car and was surprised to see the Uhaul and dumpster already there. Rosalie was sitting on the back of the Uhaul visiting with Renesmee. I started towards them, but Alice grabbed my arm and pulled me into the house.

"Give them a few minutes," she whispered. "Rosalie can help this situation."

Alice and I started taking loads out to the dumpster. Every once in a while I would find a trinket or picture I wanted and put it in Alice's car. I also set aside a few things I thought Renesmee would like. I was almost ready to start on Charlie's room, when Rosalie and Ness came in from outside. We all started taking anything that could be donated out to the Uhaul.

There were only a few things I had wanted to keep. Ness wanted a few others and the rest was easily pinned as able-to-be-donated or ready-for -the-landfill. Before long, the house was nearly empty. Only Charlie's room had not been cleared, well, it hadn't even been started. Alice and Rose left with the Uhaul and I was left with Renesmee to work on Charlie's bedroom. We had not really spoken since before the Edward and Jake incident. We sat on the front steps for a moment.

"I just don't understand why Dad gets so worked up about everything," Renesmee said quietly.

"He has spent a hundred years listening to people's thoughts. Even listening to his brothers' thoughts about their wives is disturbing to him. So, it's that much worse for him to hear Jake think about you, or to hear you think about Jake. Right now you both don't filter your thoughts very well because it is so new and exciting. It is not wrong for you to feel that way about each other, in fact, it would be very disturbing if you did not. I wouldn't want it any other way," I carefully explained.

"I know, but can't he just ignore it?"

"No, that is not his way and you know it," I smiled. "Ness, Dad and I are leaving. We are going to take a trip around the world. The rest of the family is moving as well, and we will move with them."

Tears welled up in Renessmee's eyes, "I'm sorry I didn't mean to make it so you had to leave. Don't go… we can do better."

I put my arms around my daughter, "You have Jake now and he needs to be here with the packs for a while longer. We will keep in touch with phone calls and when Jake is ready you two can join the rest of us. You did not push us away. Please, don't think it is your fault." If tears were possible they would have been flowing freely now. I didn't think this would be so difficult. I pulled my daughter closer as she continued to sob.

"You need to spend some time really getting to know Jake as a husband and don't forget, we have forever. This is just a short time in the course of forever."

I just held on while she cried it out. She pulled away from me and wiped the tears away. "You're right. This will all be OK." She took a deep breath, "Should we tackle Charlie's room?"

I shrugged, "I guess so."

Honestly, I had not even opened his door yet. I hadn't been in Charlie's room for over seven years; the last time had been to wash his bedding the week before the wedding. I reached my hand towards the door knob and dread filled me. I didn't want to do this. The door opened and Charlie's scent hit me like a brick wall. The pain and sadness came rushing back. I took a few minutes to stabilize myself and then Ness and I walked in.

The bed was a tangle of blankets and sheets. Dirty clothes were strewn all around. It was much messier than I expected it to be. Charlie wasn't a neat freak, or anything, but he usually kept things picked up better than this.

Ness opened a garbage sack and we filled it with dirty clothes and his dirty sheets. She ran those down stairs and started a load of laundry so all of that could be donated. I carried the bed down the stairs to the now empty front room and carried a few boxes back up with me. I started on his dresser. Mostly, it was clothes. In one drawer, I found a few expired fishing licenses and some paperwork from a very old case under the clothing. I set the paperwork aside so we could take it to the station. I finished the dresser and carried it down the stairs and left in near the bed. Renesmee had just finished picking up the floor when I got back up.

There was one more place to clean and we faced it with a sense of dread. Charlie's closet was closed; it always had been. I had never felt the need to snoop and, now, I had to. I took a deep breath and opened the door. His shirts and his old suit hung neatly, a baseball bat was propped against one side and several old fishing poles against another. A pair of shoes was also near the baseball bat. The top shelf held several old boxes. I wondered what we would find in them. But, the thing that made me step back was the smell. It was an old smell but it was new to me and very odd.

I closed the door quickly and dialed my cell, "Edward, I need you to come to my dad's, right now. Bring Carlisle if you can."

_I hope you enjoyed it. Let me know - just push the review button._


	8. Chapter 8 angry

Renesmee

I was soaked to the skin and so was everyone else. I was surprised by the way we all stood in the rain; no one seemed able to move. Each person needed the group, in that very unusual moment. Vampires and werewolves stood together supporting each other. Grandpa Charlie had become a connecting link between the Quileute pack and the Cullen's. I wondered how he could be surrounded by this much mythology and never have any desire to know what was really going on.

I was glad Sue offered Jake and me a ride back to La Push. All of us were equally dripping and I was sure the cars would take days to dry out. All the same, I was glad to get away from my family – I was supposed to be on my honeymoon. With the funereal and everything it was easy to keep my thoughts in check but I knew Dad would be hearing things he didn't want to know all too soon.

Sue dropped us off at our house. Esme had insisted on a new house as our wedding present. We insisted that she keep it simple but, even still, it was the nicest house in the reservation, by far. Jake and I changed into dry clothes and I put the wet ones in the washer. I caught Jake watching me bend over the washer. I turned and smiled at him. He pulled me close and kissed me fiercely. His warm hand trailed up and down my arms and the feeling made me tremble.

"Will you go for a run with me?" He whispered huskily.

I nodded, not able to speak. As we left the house, I wondered what he had up his sleeve. We ran together a lot, but he never used his sexy voice to ask.

We walked hand in hand out into the forest. Jake let go of my hand and started into some trees. I put a hand on his shoulder to stop him. He turned towards me with a questioning look. I took a deep breath to steady myself but I was nervous to make my request, surly he would not deny me. I could hardly get out the words.

"I want to watch," I whispered.

Jakes smile lit up the entire forest. "Of course, my love," He whispered in return. I watched Jake undress, the muscles under his russet skin rippled with each movement. Part of me wanted to tackle him right there, but I had wanted to watch him phase for a long time so I kept my distance. I had asked Mom about it once. She told me about watching Jake phase the first time and how it freaked her out. She had avoided watching since then. Jake had been in better control around me so, I had never witnessed it.

He stood several feet away to give himself plenty of room, wearing nothing but a big grin. He looked like he was concentrating really hard, but nothing was happening. I could tell he was getting flustered. Frustrated, he turned around. I waited until he turned before I smiled. I realized he had never had an audience before; it was just a little performance anxiety.

I watched his form shimmer and slowly explode into the wolf I loved. It took my breath away. He turned toward me with a wolfy grin and dipped his head in a bow. I stood there is disbelief replaying the transformation over and over in my mind. I had never expected the pure beauty of it, so different from the way Mom described it. I stood there stuck in my mind.

Jake whined in concern. I smiled, "I loved it, Jake"

He smiled and his dark eyes sparkled with delight.

I took off running touching his shoulder as I passed him. This was an old game we had played since I was very little. He gave me a few seconds head start before he came after me. He nudged my shoulder with his wet nose and took off I giggled and followed after him. Back and forth we played tag. It felt so good to run through the forest. The worries and pain of the last few days were left behind. I focused all of my energy on my husband.

It seemed as if we were the only ones in the forest until I heard vampires in the forest far ahead of us. I figured Rosalie and Emmett were out "playing" – I had heard them before. We were headed in that direction but I could tell they were very far away. I was sure they would be long gone by the time we got there.

Jake and I continued on our way, playing tag. We kept an easy pace, although, it would have been difficult for a human to keep up with us. I kept all of my focus on Jake, blocking out everything else. I let his presence take the pain of the last few days away.

Eventually, we made it to a lovely clearing out in the middle of the woods. I went to tackle Jake and nearly had him but he flipped me over and had me pinned before I could react. I could see the fire in his dark eyes as his form began to shimmer. Electricity tingled through my veins, adrenalin rushed in anticipation. I knew exactly what was on his mind and my body responded as fast as his phase. I moved my hand to his cheek and encouraged his thought with my own excitement.

It was only after we had exhausted ourselves that I noticed the smell in the clearing. It was fairly new and it was my parents. It dawned on me that it had not been Rose and Em that I had heard earlier. Ugh, I cringed. I was glad Jake didn't notice. After what could have been hours, Jake mentioned that we should be moving on. I reluctantly agreed.

I had to look around for my clothes; I didn't really remember taking them off. I dressed quickly and Jake and I made our way back to the reservation.

We both decided we needed to go over to the Cullen's . Jake and I headed for the Mustang. I was so glad Dad helped me give it to him a year ago. Thinking about Jake's reaction that day always made me smile. I loved to watch him drive it. He let me have a turn once but it was much more fun to watch him. His eyes twinkled and he smiled to whole time. As long as it wasn't raining he would leave the window open and I would watch the wind muss his hair. He was the picture of ease and joy.

We pulled up to Carlisle and Esme's home much too soon. Dad bound out of the house; he and Jake started goofing around. I would never understand their relationship. I, honestly, doubt anyone would understand it except, maybe, Mom. I had heard all the crazy stories about Mom and Jake. It was just too weird to me. I couldn't imagine Jake wanting anyone other than me. Dad ran hot and cold. Sometimes he acted like Jake was his best friend and other times, he could do nothing right.

He had been my _everything_ for my whole life. I could even remember seeing his eyes for the first time. I don't have a lot of memories from those first few weeks but I remember Jake. I do remember searching for those eyes. In my heart I knew, I needed him right away and for always. He was mine, he always had been, and he always would be. It was a great feeling to know that I never had to wonder about it.

I could hear Mom and Esme working in the dining room, so I went to find them. They were talking about Charlie's house. They were making plans to give it to one of Mom's old friends. For a moment, it looked like mom was afraid I might want it. But I had news for her, I wanted to live on the reservation and I really didn't care about Charlie's house. I was relieved they had another purpose for it.

The house my grandmother had fixed up for me and my sweet husband was exactly perfect and it would take a major disaster to keep me away from my home on the reservation any time soon. I wasn't really listening as they went over house plans. I thought about going to Charlie's house and a flash of my earlier nightmare came back. He was gone. The house would be so empty without him. I wasn't sure if I could handle it.

I heard Alice murmur, "We should go over to the house and start going through things."

I took a deep breath and said, "Alright," at the exact moment as my mother and in the same tone. Alice shook her head and we all laughed lightly. We went to the other room to interrupt the game and let the guys know we were heading out.

Alice was immediately in takeover and organize mode. I was glad for it. I was so worried about entering Charlie's house I could only concentrate on that. My hands shook as we made our way to the front door. Mom grabbed the key from under the eve and opened the door. My dream flashed through my mind but Charlie's house didn't feel like the dream at all. The dust had not even settled. It looked like he could walk out of the kitchen at any moment and greet us. I reminded myself he would not be joining us again.

Mom and I started going through things. I picked up some of Grandpa's fishing gear. I went through it, picking out my favorites and some of his to take home with me. I put the gear by the front door and helped Mom go through some other stuff. We had gotten a good start on the house, when I heard the unmistakable hum of Jake's Mustang.

I ran out front to great him with a kiss. I knew I wasn't going to be able to stay here much longer. I needed a break from the gloom. I worked at keeping my thoughts in check. Dad was with him and Dad was always listening. I put my hand on Jake's cheek and let him know that I wanted to be on our way. I showed him the fishing equipment and he knew I would be right back with it.

Jake and Dad had moved away from the car after Jake had opened the trunk for me. They were discussing the car. I bent over to arrange the fishing stuff in the trunk so it would make it back to the reservation in good shape. I was just about done, when I heard Dad growl, a loud whack and then another.

I turned to see Jake and Dad gone. I could smell that they were in the woods. Mom and Alice streaked passed and I could hear Jake. He was in pain. My legs led me faster than my mind could put it all together. Without thinking, I was at Jake's side uselessly trying to help him; I couldn't understand what had happened. Then, in a moment of intuition I knew exactly what had happened. I looked at my Dad and fed him a piece of my mind. I, briefly, wondered if Mom was shielding him. I could tell from the look on his face she was not. Alice spoke and Dad spoke but I heard no one, only the agony of my loving husband and the rage I felt toward my father could fill my ears at this moment. Tears stung my eyes and burned trails down my face as I tried to comfort my husband.

Two cold hands and a soft voice broke the haze of rage. Carlisle had put both hands on my shoulders and nearly whispered, "It's OK Ness. Let me help him."

I sat off to the side with my arms wrapped around my knees. Carlisle's well practiced hands examined my husband. Alice spoke to the doctor but I didn't hear through my pulse pounding in my ears. I could hear Carlisle, "Four broken ribs and your jaw is broken in two places. I need to set it."

Pain enveloped my body. Tears flooded. I knew what was coming next. I couldn't watch, hearing Jake's pain was hard enough. I clutched my knees harder, gritted my teeth and tried not to listen while Carlisle set the bones. Jake cried out then, the forest was quiet again. Carlisle held Jake's jaw in place while it healed. I knew he would heal quickly; the pain in my chest did not heal as quickly.

Jake was his normal self before I could move, making jokes as he got up from the ground but I was stuck to the spot where I was. The tears had dried but, I was angry in ways I had never fathomed. It was debilitating.

Before, I could realize what was happening I was in Jake's arms and he was placing me in the Mustang. I stared unseeing as the trees flew past us. The car stopped; Jake carried me into our home and sat on the bed with me. He held me without speaking. I could feel the anger had lessened. It was like I was a large bucket with a very small hole. The anger trickled out so slowly that I could not feel it as it happened but if I looked back and hour or even ten minutes I could see the difference.

I listened to his breathing and felt his arms around me. I stared at nothing for what felt like hours. The room darkened as the sun went down. Eventually, I fell asleep in his arms and woke in the same position; the sun was just beginning to rise. My dear husband had held me all night while the anger trickled ever so slowly from my heart and mind. The knowledge almost made me smile. A warm feeling began to fill the emptiness the anger had left behind. I felt hope, hope that I could forgive my father, hope that I could return to the happiness I once knew.

I felt Jake's warm breath and then his lips as he kissed my temple. "Are you going to be all right?" his voice was low and rough with sleep.

"Maybe," I whispered back. "I just can't believe he did that to you. It was so wrong." The anger flared a little but did not grow, I noticed with relief.

"I wasn't watching my thoughts. I forgot. It's O.K. No permanent damage," he shrugged with a smile.

He continued to hold me while I tried to see Jake's perspective. It was still wrong. It sun had risen higher in the morning sky when I heard a car pull up outside. I listened to the footsteps walk up to our door and a knock.

"I'll go see who it is." Jake whispered to me. He kissed the side of my head and squeezed me gently before laying me the rest of the way onto the bed. I listened to his footsteps leave the room. I blinked my eyes. Maybe I could move again, maybe.

I wiggled my fingers and toes. Then I pushed my arms and legs so I could stretch. Moving on my own seemed to widen the hole in the anger bucket. I breathed a sigh of relief, enjoying the release of the stretch and the dwindling of my enmity.

I heard Jake talking to Rosalie at the front door. They were funny, the blonde and dog jokes never ceased. Then next thing I knew, Rosalie was next to me. "Hey, I need your help," she said. I really doubted that, but Rose knew just how to get me to do what she wanted. Before I knew it, I was showered, dressed, fed and on my way out the door. Rose and I talked as we drove to Port Angeles. She was one of the few people who could really get me to open up and by the time we had picked up the noisy U haul truck I was venting. Rose understood. She had watched my dad over react to her husband's thoughts many times.

We sat on the back of the truck talking for a long time. When we were done, the anger was all but gone and I even thought I would be OK talking to my mother again. I thought it would be a year before I could even look at her again. We worked together with Alice and Rosalie to finish filling the U haul. I worried as they drove away. Did I really want to talk to my mom alone?

We ended up sitting on the front porch for a moment and we had a quiet conversation. I was stunned – Mom and Dad were leaving, and soon. I couldn't help but feel a little responsible – even though Mom assured me I wasn't. Tears fell again. I would miss my parents dearly. Mom held me while I sobbed. I cried that my parents were leaving; I cried for my stupid anger fit, I cried for my husband. And then it all clicked. We would get a year to think freely – it would be very nice- the best wedding present my parents could give us.

Mom dried the remaining tears on my face and we agreed to finish up the house, the only thing left was Charlie's room. I had never been in Grandpa's room; this would be a new adventure for me.

Mom and I worked together. It was nice to work side by side; it dissolved all of the hard feelings. I started laundry – I had no idea grandpa was such a slob. We moved furniture. Mom found a police envelope in one of the dresser drawers and put it aside. I looked at it for a moment. It had a hint of a very familiar smell but it was so light I couldn't place it. I thought about it as we cleared the rest of the room.

All that was left, in the whole house, was his closet. Nervously, Mom opened the door and looked inside. The smell was there too. It was strong enough now. I knew exactly what it was, I smiled to myself wondering. Mom quickly closed the door and called Dad. I giggled as her phone snapped shut. She gave me "the look."

I couldn't believe she didn't recognize the smell. I continued to laugh- it felt so good, and held a hand up to her face to let her know it was the smell of Ephraim Black. We had a bunch of old stuff that smelled like that. I handed her the envelope and she smelled it there too. It was very faint, even for vampire senses. She opened the envelope to find a large number of old handwritten papers all written in old Quileute.

I borrowed her phone and called Jake.

Mom had a perplexed expression, "So, why did Charlie have old Quileute papers and what's in that closet?"

I smiled and raised an eyebrow. We giggled like school girls for a moment and dove into the closet to find the source of the smell, while we waited for our husbands to arrive.

_Please reveiw..._

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	9. Chapter 9 goodbyes

_author notes:  
_

_Wow! This took a lot longer than I had hoped. Here it is the answer (sort of - he he) to your questions....._

_Thanks to everyone who reviewed - i love reading your reviews, they keep me going._

Bella

The wind rushed through my hair as I ran. I needed this run, alone, through the forest, nothing but wind and movement, no people, and no questions, just me.

The events of the past few days ran through my mind. Renesmee and I had still been giggling when the men arrived. I really wasn't sure why we were giggling but it felt so good to be happy for a moment, I didn't question it.

Apparently, Charlie had never cleaned out the back of his closet shelf. We found several boxes that had belonged to Renee. We finally came to a very unusual box in the very back. It was hidden so that the only way we could get to it was if the shelf was completely cleared off. We pulled the box out and four of us watched as Jake opened the box. It was a tricky thing, some kind of Quileute puzzle box. At the top of the box was a letter from Billy to Renee.

_Renee-_

_Here is the information Isabella will need. _

_Don't worry she will be fine. _

_I know she will do what we spoke of._

_The prophesies_ _are clear._

_Billy_

Suddenly four sets of eyes were on me. I looked at Jake. "What prophesies? What in the world?"

"I have no idea," Jake shook his head.

There was a very old leather bound journal inside and blanket, a basket and a few other odds and ends. We looked at all of the stuff and Jake offered to take it home to show to Old Quill and see if he knew anything about it. I thought about asking my mom. I wanted to know what Billy had told her and I really needed to know what everything meant but something in my heart told me it was not the right time to mention it to her.

I continued to run enjoying the breeze. I tried to avoid thinking of the next time I saw Jake and Ness but the thoughts wouldn't leave my mind.

Jake and Ness had shown up at the cottage the next morning to talk to us. Old Quill could not read the journal because it was written in a very old form of Quileute but he knew of the prophecy and they brought the news. The prophecy was old and mostly forgotten as it had not been spoken of since my birth.

Old Quill gave Jake the basics. There was to be a mother of a new era in the tribal nation. She would be white. She would bring strength and prosperity. Billy believed with all of his being - she was me.

I forced my mind to stop. I could not, would not rehash the words through my mind again. I focused on the details of every tree I passed. I had run Jake's words through my head a million times since they were spoken but I could not make them apply to me. It was not me.

Jake was going through some stuff trying to find away to translate the journal. The papers were easier and Old Quill could read those but he would only read them to me. That was part of the reason I was running. I had to choose did I want to know? We were leaving in two days - would it matter if I waited? Could I stand to wait? I looked around me and noticed I was almost to the reservation. So, I did want to know. I came to a quick stop.

I hadn't seen Old Quill in years. I took an unnecessary breath and continued at a slightly slower pace to the small home I knew to be Old Quill's. I stopped outside his front door. Deciding again, did I really want to know? I looked at my feet, thinking, trying to decide whether or not to knock. I heard feet shuffle to the door; a hand touched the door knob. I listened to metal scrape against metal as the door knob turned and the old rusted hinges came to life.

I looked up. Old Quill's dark eyes looked at me, assessing. I took an unsteady breath. He nodded with a small smile. "I knew you would come, Bella."

I simply nodded. He opened the door further and invited me in.

"I hope this isn't a bad time." I nearly whispered as I took the seat he had offered me.

He settled into a chair across the room. He shook his head, "There is never a bad time for you. I feel honored you decided to come here."

I nodded. Embarrassed, I kept my eyes down.

I could hear Old Quill rustling papers. "These pages were written by Billy. I helped him write them. We did everything we could to get our scents off of them. Charlie didn't know what they were. But, Billy tried to tell Renee. Two days later you two were gone. We knew it would happen, it is in the prophecies." He shook his head, "They are some of the most detailed we have ever had."

"How do you know it is me? I don't think it is me."

"There is no doubt. It is in the book. This," He held a small leather book, "will help you translate it. You are the only one who should know what it says."

"So you know all of what is in the book?"

"I know a very small part of it - just what Billy and I rewrote. It is the part we heard Ephriam read." He picked up the hand that held the papers form Charlie's dresser. "I could write it in English, but I don't want just anybody to read it. Jake and Renesmee cannot read it, yet." His eyes held a new intensity. "You will understand later - but you cannot tell them anymore than they already know."

I nodded and let myself breathe. I didn't realize that I had stopped.

"That's really all I have to tell you," the old man shrugged.

"So, Renee took me away because she knows?"

"She doesn't know _everything - _very little actually. Billy just told her enough to freak her out." He chuckled lightly. "She was leaving soon anyway. I could see the sadness in her eyes growing each day. His eyes displayed the sadness he remembered.

"Why did Charlie have all this stuff?"

"For safe keeping." We decided that the new generation of wolves should not know.

I nodded. "I'm sure you need to be on your way." I nodded again.

"I'm too old to get up again right now, so you come get this book. I'm sure you will have it all figured out before you know it."

I got up, clutched the small book in my hand and made my way out the door. I bid my friend farewell and started for home. The journal was there- Jake had brought all of the stuff from Charle's closet back to me.

No one was at the cottage when I returned and I was glad for the quiet. I opened the small book to see what I could learn. The information inside would have taken years to take in for a human but my vampire mind sucked it all in and in a few hours. I took a deep breath and opened the journal.

I had only read about 3 words when I heard footsteps. Edward was coming up to the door. I closed the book. Edward had been understanding and oddly quiet about the whole affair. He came up behind me and planted a sweet peck on my cheek. I opened my mind and showed him my conversation with Old Quil.

As my memory finished, he put his hands on my shoulders rubbing them gently. "I can help you translate, if you want me to."

I handed him the small book and I took the large one. We cuddled together and started reading. I started the journal again carefully translating the first three pages and going over it several times to check myself. Edward looked up. "How is that one going?"

"I don't know if I want to know all of this. I think it might be better in smaller chunks." I closed the book. He followed my example and we sat together enjoying the quiet for several minutes before he started speaking. His voice was very quiet as if he wished not to break the comfortable silence between us.

"Do you still want to go?"

"Yes. I think even more so now." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Some time away from all this nonsense would be nice. I really needed some time to let it sink in without the funny looks.

"I have everything ready so we can go in the morning, like we had planned." A few days ago we talked about leaving at dawn. It still seemed like as good of a time as any. I nodded my head.

"I think Alice is planning a little send off party so we can say good bye to everyone," He smiled.

"That sounds like Alice."

"Everyone's supposed to be at the house around five am and the sun will rise at about seven."

I nodded. I was excited to go but the time had passed so quickly that it caught me by surprise.

"Do you want to see the stuff I got for us?"

I looked at him, "Do we need stuff?"

"It is just a few things."

He showed me a couple of backpacks just slightly larger than I used for high school. He had gotten us hiking gear and we each had an extra outfit and a wet suit. He was starting to explain the reasoning for wet suits when Alice knocked on the door. Edward invited her in and she opened the door. Jasper followed her in.

"I got you a couple more things." She handed Edward an odd package. These will keep your backpacks dry when you swim the Bering Strait and you will want those books extra dry," she nodded to the leather bound volumes on the couch. "This will take care of them for you." She handed me what felt like a bag made from heavy duty plastic wrap.

Edward thanked her for her thoughtfulness. Alice and Jasper hung around for a while visiting with us. It was nice to have some quiet visiting time. I would miss Alice dearly.

Just after sunset, Alice and Jasper left. Once again, I longed for tears. I wanted this trip, I wanted to time with Edward. But, I would miss our family. I would miss our cottage. My eyes stung and Edward pulled me close.

"We don't have to go if you don't want to."

"I do want to."

"You know we can come back at any time. Just say the word and we will be on a plane home. You know that, right?"

He brushed my hair away from my face and placed gentle kisses all over the now open area.

I opened my mind to him. I showed him all the reasons I wanted to go: our shorted honeymoon, I wanted to explore the world as a vampire and by his side, Renesmee. I gave as many reasons as I could think of. Then, I showed him that despite all of those reasons I would still miss our family and Renesmee and Jake. I would miss our little cottage that we would be leaving, probably forever.

"Oh, sweetheart," he murmured. "I understand and agree."

He wrapped his arms around me and rubbed comforting circles around my back. He held me in that sweet embrace for a long time, comforting away the sadness threatening to take over.

Our last night in the cottage was so peaceful; I wished it would never end. However, I knew that five am would be there soon and so at about four we began final preparations. We showered and dressed in our hiking gear. I carefully packed the Quileute books along with a few family pictures and our ID's - some real, most forged for our trip. They all fit perfectly into the water proof case Alice had provided me with. Everything fit into my backpack with room to spare. Edward's pack held a Cell phone and a satellite phone, enough money to run a small country for over a decade all in a waterproof case, the oddly shaped package Alice had brought the day before and his personal effects.

As I packed and prepared my excitement increased. We were really going to do this. We were going to go out and see the world. I was anxious to get going. I was ready to try something new. I didn't realize how much I really needed this trip until that moment. I had spent the last 6 years being a mother. I had lived in the same place and seen the same things and I was ready for change, for new, for my new life. I knew would always be a mother but it really seemed like that part of my life was mostly over and now I had my forever with my husband, with Edward, and I was raring to go.

It was just a few minutes before five when we slung our packs on our backs and made our way to the Cullen home for our send off party.

I couldn't contain my excitement I giggled and bounced from the ground into the trees and back again. Edward laughed at me. We jumped over the river together and raced to the house. I felt free. I felt good. I was a new me.

The pack had arrived just seconds before we did. The Cullen's and the pack were all there to wish us a good journey. The pack still looked at me with strange expressions but I was in such a good mood it didn't bother me at all. I giggled and laughed and teased with Emmett and Alice.

I was so excited until I saw Esme. She was a mess. I could tell she was not taking this well. I nearly changed every plan right there and then. I could see the pain on her face and I could not hurt her. I could not hurt the most loving person on the planet. Edward went to her and gave her a big hug.

"We'll call at least once a week, I promise. I heard him murmur. And we'll be back before you know it." The words seemed to calm her a little but her eyes still showed sorrow that made my dead heart ache.

I went to her. "Please, don't be sad." She tried to smile but it didn't reach her eyes.

"I will be OK" she whispered. "I just hate it when you all go off the see the world. I want you to be safe."

"We will be OK."

"I know," she whispered but her expression held so much doubt.

"Will you do one thing for me?" Her eyes held fresh curiosity.

"Will you take care of Renesmee and Jake?" A new smile formed and this one lit up her face.

"You know I will. You didn't even need to ask."

"I know - but I feel better asking." We hugged again. Esme had become the mother Renee never was. I could tell she loved the mothering and I loved being mothered, now. It had taken some getting used to. I wondered if there were any women who learned how to be mothered while mothering their own child at the same time. I don't know if I would have been as receptive to the idea if I hadn't understood how closely her feelings mirrored my own.

I turned and watched as Carlisle handed Edward a laptop. I laughed to myself we were certainly going to have plenty of technology to help us along. Edward put it in his pack. He turned to Carlisle for the customary handshake-and-pat-on-the-back manly hug. His brothers and Jake's too followed suit wishing him good luck while I hugged the girls and wished for tears. Of course, Renesmee, Emily and the other imprintee's cheeks were stained with trails of tears. The female Cullens all looked as though they joined me in my wish. We had several occasions to get close over the past few years and I wondered how many knew more about the prophecy than I did. Would that cause more sorrow for them when I left, now? The thought floated through my head but found no place to land and continued on its way without any attention.

I wished good bye to all the boys while Edward said good bye to all the girls. When we had finished, it was nearly sunrise we went out to the back porch. Alice handed me my back pack. It felt just slightly heavier and I wondered what she had added. I had a feeling she would be helping us along as we journeyed.

Finally, we said heartfelt goodbyes to Jake and Ness. Renesmee was now holding her emotions in check, so like her father. I reminded them that the Cullen's and especially Esme would be there if they needed anything and I made sure they had the phone numbers to contact us. With one last hug to each of my children- how could I see Jake as anything else? - Jasper flooded the group with hope and feelings of happy farewell.

Edward took my hand. "Are you ready?" His eyes danced.

"Of course, my love."

We turned and waved to the group. Everyone waved back and we were off, running through the forest. We passed our cottage and then made our way to the meadow. We stopped there, briefly.

Edward kissed me and I watched his skin sparkle in the early dawn light. It reminded me of our first visit. The biggest difference was my skin sparkled now, too. My heart was over filled with gratitude for the changes of the last nearly 8 years. I had found my soul mate and he had decided to keep me forever. I would never regret my decision to become a vampire. This was the life for me. This was what I was born to be.

A small part of the prophecy flitted through my head. "And her heart will know her destiny. She will become what she is born to be despite the counsel of the elders."

My heart nearly started again. Maybe it was true, maybe.

I smiled at Edward. He nodded with his wonderful crooked smile and we were off toward Alaska and the beginning of our adventure.

_Author's note: I want to know what you think - do you hate it... do you love it... what do you want to happen next? _

_Also - I am looking for a new beta - as mine seems to have fallen off the planet. (I would love to hear from you emm) So, if you would like to beta for me let me know. This is my first fic so I am really looking to improve my writing as I go._


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